By Dr Abe V Rotor
1. Talking loudly can be seen as overbearing and rude; it will also make people angry and upset, even before you can establish a good relationship with them.
2. Speak with respect; avoid negative remarks that may insult someone else. Exception: when you are in court or any investigative forum.
3. Don’t speak of bodily functions such as using the bathroom or telling crude jokes. This is however all right in casual conversation.
4. Terms like Thank you, Please, You’re welcome, I’m sorry – are said only on appropriate occasions. Just don’t say it for nothing.
5. Hold the door for anyone following you closely – unless he is able bodied, and perhaps stronger than you.
6. Speak highly of your parents, unless they are already dead.
7. It is okay to swear but not to use filthy language. Swearing is an act of affirming your innocence or sincerity.
8. Pay attention to how you carry yourself, such as in handshake. Shake hands firmly – not limply. People know you in how you shake hands.
9. Don’t interrupt, cut off or override unless you are the teacher or referee.
10. You can phone before 7 am or after 9 pm, if it is business matter.
11. It’s okay to spend an hour or more chatting with someone. It’s your private phone anyway.
12. Address older adults and professional seniority with the title Mr, Mrs, Miss, Ms until you are asked by them to address them by their first names.
13. Michael is Mike, Arturo is Art, Jaime is Jim, Vicente is Vic – why still ask his nickname when you have dropped formalities of knowing each other?
14. On the computer (e-mail) and cell phones, it is all right to use CUZ for because, U for you, DA of the, DAT of that. 2 for to etc )
15. It’s okay today, in texting and e-mail, to commit errors in grammar and spelling, and faulty sentence construction.
16. Always give gratitude and be thankful. If this is not enough just to say thank you, show how grateful you really are with say, a note, a flower, token or gift.
17. Some people feel than being “mannered” is “fake” or unauthentic. Instead, realize that manners are normal and healthy social conventions that make interactions easier and more pleasant.
18. If you are in school, make sure that you behave so that your teacher will speak highly of you – pay attention in class and do your homework. Treat your teacher with respect. Do all these with the end in view of getting a good grade and earning a good reputation among your classmates. Perhaps you will even get a medal for good conduct and behavior.
19. If someone else is speaking, try hard not to be domineering or overbearing by taking over the story or subject matter at hand, even if you feel that you can tell it better. Let him finish, then give your two cents worth.
20. Avoid annoying others with your cellphone. Be sure to turn off your phone. If by whatever reason your cellphone rings in the middle of a lecture. Stand up and say sorry, and erase any suspicion that it is someone else.
21. Etiquette is a French word and it origin was during the time of the French aristocrats – at the court of Louis XIV. This is the reason why in America, the notion of etiquette is occasionally disparaged – and looked upon as old-fashioned or elite.
22. Etiquette is a code that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social groups – in spite of the unique characteristics of these groups, there are etiquette rules that are common to them.
23. Etiquette in the Philippine has been greatly influenced by European Renaissance – but has lost must of its influence, except in high society.
24. Start showing your manners with your parents. They’ll be overjoyed that their children are speaking to them with respect, for respect shows that you have good manners.
25. Manners are little rules that help us all act with respect toward one another. If you are unsure what to do in a particular situation, remember that manners strive to make anyone around you feel comfortable, and take action based on this thought.
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