Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Good Manners - Seed to Happy and Peaceful Living

Abe V Rotor
Religion is often the root cause of personal and social conflicts. Ecuminism brings different faiths together towards universal brotherhood and world peace. UST 2006)

Who needs manners? Everyone. And who doesn't? Perhaps those at the fringes of civilization, and sanity. Even then, they have their own way of bringing out their best. We are all part of that bond of fine taste, refine culture, etiquette, social grace, urbanidad, humanities and GMRC - two general subject in college and high school.

Manners reflect our personality. When we hear undesirable comments about our personhood, it is likely to some manners not befitting, and this influences how people perceive of us. Our acts - commisson or omission, verbal and non-verbal, formal or informal - are constantly being judged. Perhaps there is no place in society that we are not observed, analyzed and evaluated - and graded, often unknowingly. We get good as well as poor grades in our manners. There are no perfect scores. It is a constant struggle, it is always a never ending test. There is both the old ways to review, and the new ones to learn. Manners are retrospective and prospective. Keeping abreast is as challenging as balancing the new with the conservative, and the traditional.

And with the many walks of life today, the explosion of knowledge and the shrinking of the world into a village, so to speak, the more our actions are exposed and made known to others. Never too, have we become so mobile and transient, associating ourselves with different races and ages, and with various institutions. Media exposure to multiple cultures, and accessibility to various programs more than what we actually need or want to, complicate the picture which we would like ourselves to be seen. We ask, is this the picture we wish others to see us?

In general, we are happy with our own image, and are sufficiently happy with our everyday life. Inevitably however, we find ourslves in quandary if we are not. And ask, Have I gone wrong? Where have I gone wrong? What? How? And here are the areas with the most common pitfalls.

1. Noise, noise, noise. Don't be unnecessarily noisy. It's a common offence.

2. Occasions. Your presence or absence. Participation and role. Don't be gate crusher, wall flower.

3. Greetings and protocol. Recognize others first. Your Excellency, the highest; friend, most common greeting.

4. Technology - cell phone, camera, TV, car, etc. Familiarize yourself of their uses and application. Turn off your cellphone in an audience, please.

5. Ladies and Gentlemen - Be a lady. Be a gentleman. Say Sorry, Thank you. Ladies First

6. Humility. Don't overdo it, it will befeat the purpose. Don;'t deny. And know how to flatter subtlely.

7. Selfless before self. Give comfort to those who need it most. Be compassionate. Better give than receive. Respect the elderly.

8. Dress code. "Dress up, dress down, dress right." At all times be neat. Sexy? It's all right you're on a beach. No shorts, no slippers, please - in a formal area.

9. Hear ye! You are the speaker. Confidence, proficiency, expertise. Don't be boastful, assuming, snob. Give time for the audience to respond. Listen if you are in the audience.

10. Mannerisms. Jot them down to avoid or correct. Conquer nervousness another way. We should recognize and be conscious with your mannerisms.

11. Talents. Show or don't show - take the appropriate occasion and time. Give your best when it's your turn. Share your talents.

12. Cocktails. Don't take a shot too many. Know your limit - meaning, before you lose your good manners.

13. Light up. Be optimistic, positive, hopeful. You lighten others. too. Don't expect people to console you, if you lose your composure. Light up their lives instead.

14. Table manners. At all times - at home and in five-star hotels. And even if you are alone.

15. Love and gender. Be a man or be a woman, period. If you have a gender problem, don't show it. You can be lovely, without being sexy.

16. Family, relatives and friends. Keep them well. And close. Be a model to them, model them in return. Manners, the strong bond.

17. Profession and work. Keep what you professed for. Obseve the Code of Ethics, company rules and regulations, respect peers.

18. Private life. It's yours, protect it. It must fit with values, your profession, and as a family person and community leader. "The more you become public, the less you have private life."

19. Being indisposed. Take full rest in quiet. Cancel appointments. Don't make sickness an alibi.
Keep isolated to prevent transmission of your ailment.

20. Old age. "What you sow, you reap." People you taught and loved are with you in old age - when your faculties fade and manners are no longer solely of your own making.

Manners are seeds of good living. They do not only sprout and grow firm and strong; they multiply through and for generations. Manners are perhaps the most contagious of all social contagions. And no one is immune to them.~

Abraham Lincoln, 16th US President (1861-1865)
Although raised in a rough environment, Lincoln maintained his mild-mannered personality, earning him respect from his colleagues, and the whole world for that matter.

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