Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Monday, December 25, 2017
Children and Nature - An Omnipotent Treaty (Universal Children's Month, November 2022)
Universal Children's Day
In celebration of the United Nations Children's Day Month (November 2022
Wall Mural (7ft x 90ft) by Dr Abe V Rotor
"A thing of beauty is a boy forever." AVR wall mural at author's residence,
Barangay Greater Lagro, QC
Three young musketeers are set to conquer the worldaway from the mall, home and school;If Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn were real and alive today,we wouldn't know who's genius, who's fool.Who is the primitive, who is the civilized, oh brother!when we prefer the city over the quaint village,car for walking distance, processed over fresh food,philosophy over instinctive knowledge.Everything defined in rich vocabulary, but a rose is a roseand nothing else, energy to matter and back,universal cycles no genius will ever truly understand,Homo sapiens! it is humility we lack.Innocence in children, we make up for the falsehoodof the world of grownups and sages;Einstein and Darwin never knew the whys of the world,children have been asking for ages.If genius is reborn in the innocence of children,then knowledge into wisdom distilled,compensated in old age for the young ones' sake:'tis the fate of humanity in Nature sealed. ~
“I do not miss childhood, but I miss the way I took pleasure in small things, even as greater things crumbled. I could not control the world I was in, could not walk away from things or people or moments that hurt, but I took joy in the things that made me happy.” ― Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane
“and when all the wars are over, a butterfly will still be beautiful.”
― Ruskin Bond, Scenes from a Writer's Life
Children and Nature
“Because children grow up, we think a child's purpose is to grow up. But a child's purpose is to be a child. Nature doesn't disdain what lives only for a day. It pours the whole of itself into the each moment. We don't value the lily less for not being made of flint and built to last. Life's bounty is in its flow, later is too late. Where is the song when it's been sung? The dance when it's been danced? It's only we humans who want to own the future, too. We persuade ourselves that the universe is modestly employed in unfolding our destination. We note the haphazard chaos of history by the day, by the hour, but there is something wrong with the picture. Where is the unity, the meaning, of nature's highest creation? Surely those millions of little streams of accident and willfulness have their correction in the vast underground river which, without a doubt, is carrying us to the place where we're expected! But there is no such place, that's why it's called utopia.
The death of a child has no more meaning than the death of armies, of nations. Was the child happy while he lived? That is a proper question, the only question. If we can't arrange our own happiness, it's a conceit beyond vulgarity to arrange the happiness of those who come after us.” ― Tom Stoppard, The Coast of Utopia
“Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days.”
― Flannery O'Connor, Mystery and Manners: Occasional Prose
Three Mysteries of Life
Three Mysteries of Life
On the occasion Atty and Mrs Jess and Remy Pajarillo's 50th Wedding Anniversary December 23 2017
By Dr Abe V Rotor
There is one commodity in life that, whenever you divide it, it multiplies. (unlike money or pizza pie) It defies mathematical rule, or any scientific law. It is the most important thing in life while we are on earth. It is universal and crosses all borders - race, culture, country, age, status, time and space, for that matter. What is it?
Above, author and wife Cecille Rotor, pose with celebrant. Left, sunset over Quirino Bridge, Banaoang Pass, Santa, Ilocos Sur
The second great mystery of life is that, life begins at 40, or 50 or 60, or 100. Though it may start in childhood or in youth. It starts when we think the road has ended. Or when the race is over, when we think we didn’t get what we wanted.
The third mystery of life is that love is sweeter the second time around. I say after 50 years of happy marriage. When the sun turns golden, we say we are in our golden years. (“The gold that is sunset,” may be likened to “the glory that was Greece, the grandeur that was Rome.”)
I believe that our celebrants don’t find these mysteries odd and strange. It is not because they have cracked their secrets, but it is for the reason that they have earned the true understanding to these three mysteries of life – by obligingly submitting themselves to their very source – the all-knowing Omnipotent Being.
I’ll play a popular Filipino composition, invariably arranged kundiman, serenade or ballad. It is a song written by Filipino composer Constancio de Guzman. It was covered by singers such as The New Minstrels, Pilita Corrales, Eva Eugenio, Leo Valdez, Diomedes Maturan and Ryan Cayabyab. To have an idea what the title is, here is a select part of its lyrics:
The next piece I’ll play leads us to the second mystery, Why life starts at 40, 50 or 100. And to the third mystery, why love is sweeter after 50 years of happy married life. Here is a select part of its lyrics.
Composed by Enrico Tosseli (1883-1926), an Italian pianist and composer his most popular work is Serenata (Rimpianto), which has been popularized as Nightingale, a thrush (Luscinia megarhynchos) noted for the sweet usually nocturnal song of the male. Nightingale also refers to any of various other birds noted for their sweet song or for singing at night. I’ll close my eyes as I play Nightingale and imagine the nightingale’s sweet song.
Let’s give a big round of applause to the celebrants – Manong Jess and Manang Remy – and to their children and grandchildren, May they be guided always by these three mysteries of life, to be the source of hope, inspiration, peace, sharing, and HAPPINESS.
I thank you.
Maalaala Mo Kaya
is a song written by Filipino composer Constancio de Guzman.
It was covered by singers such as The New Minstrels, Pilita Corrales, Eva Eugenio, Leo Valdez, Diomedes Maturan and Ryan Cayabyab.
“Maalala Mo Kaya” has been a part of every Filipino home. Each episode features real-life story that brings laughter and tears that strengthen the ties that bind all of Kapamilyas wherever they are in the world.
Maalaala Mo Kaya? (Would You Remember?)
ORIGINAL TAGALOG LYRICS
Maalaala mo kaya
ang sumpa mo sa akin
na ang pag-ibig mo ay
sadyang di magmamaliw
Kung nais mong matanto
buksan ang aking puso
At tanging larawan mo
ang doo’y nakatago.
‘Di ka kaya magbago
sa iyong pagmamahal
Tunay kaya giliw ko
hanggang sa libingan?
O, kay sarap mabuhay
lalo na’t may lambingan
Ligaya sa puso ko
ay di na mapaparam
FREE ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Would you remember
your oath to me
that your love would
never fade
If you want to understand
open my heart
Only your picture
is hidden there.
Wouldn’t your love
change?
Would you really be
my love till the grave?
O, how delicious life is
especially with someone to love
The joy in my heart
will nevermore vanish.
TOSELLI'S SERENADE
(Music : Enrico Toselli)
Mario Lanza & Mary Schneider
Rimpianto, one of the sweetest serenades, was composed by Enrico Toselli (1883-1926), an Italian pianist and composer who wrote operetta, chamber music, and songs, including his best-known, this Serenata (Rimpianto). The lyrics were written by Alfredo Silvestri. Born on March 13, 1883, Enrico Toselli, Count of Montignoso, was an Italian pianist and composer. His most popular composition is Serenata ('Rimpianto) Op.6. No.1. This version, known as “Dreams and Memories” with Como`s perfect velvet voice, is tune from his album “Perry Como in Italy”, released in 1966. and English lyrics were written by Carl Sigman.
Like a golden dream, in my heart e'er smiling.
Lives a vision fair of happy love I knew in days gone by.
Still I seem to hear, your laughter beguiling.
Still to see the joy, the love light beaming from your radiant eyes.
Will my dreaming be in vain?
Will my love ne'er come again?
Oh, come, shall we waste the golden hours of youth far apart?
What care I for live, without you by my side?
Do not delay, the hours slip away.
Your arms are my paradise.
You and only you can fill my heart.
Oh, star of my heaven,
Come back and shed your light upon my way.
Come back! Come back! ~
By Dr Abe V Rotor
There is one commodity in life that, whenever you divide it, it multiplies. (unlike money or pizza pie) It defies mathematical rule, or any scientific law. It is the most important thing in life while we are on earth. It is universal and crosses all borders - race, culture, country, age, status, time and space, for that matter. What is it?
Above, author and wife Cecille Rotor, pose with celebrant. Left, sunset over Quirino Bridge, Banaoang Pass, Santa, Ilocos Sur The second great mystery of life is that, life begins at 40, or 50 or 60, or 100. Though it may start in childhood or in youth. It starts when we think the road has ended. Or when the race is over, when we think we didn’t get what we wanted.
The third mystery of life is that love is sweeter the second time around. I say after 50 years of happy marriage. When the sun turns golden, we say we are in our golden years. (“The gold that is sunset,” may be likened to “the glory that was Greece, the grandeur that was Rome.”)
I believe that our celebrants don’t find these mysteries odd and strange. It is not because they have cracked their secrets, but it is for the reason that they have earned the true understanding to these three mysteries of life – by obligingly submitting themselves to their very source – the all-knowing Omnipotent Being.
I’ll play a popular Filipino composition, invariably arranged kundiman, serenade or ballad. It is a song written by Filipino composer Constancio de Guzman. It was covered by singers such as The New Minstrels, Pilita Corrales, Eva Eugenio, Leo Valdez, Diomedes Maturan and Ryan Cayabyab. To have an idea what the title is, here is a select part of its lyrics:
O, how delicious life is
especially with someone to love
The joy in my heart
will nevermore vanish.
The answer to the first mystery of life – one commodity that whenever you divide it, will multiply. Begins with H, three syllables. HAPPINESS.
The next piece I’ll play leads us to the second mystery, Why life starts at 40, 50 or 100. And to the third mystery, why love is sweeter after 50 years of happy married life. Here is a select part of its lyrics.
Composed by Enrico Tosseli (1883-1926), an Italian pianist and composer his most popular work is Serenata (Rimpianto), which has been popularized as Nightingale, a thrush (Luscinia megarhynchos) noted for the sweet usually nocturnal song of the male. Nightingale also refers to any of various other birds noted for their sweet song or for singing at night. I’ll close my eyes as I play Nightingale and imagine the nightingale’s sweet song.
Like a golden dream, in my heart e'er smiling.
Lives a vision fair of happy love I knew in days gone by.
Still I seem to hear, your laughter beguiling.
Still to see the joy, the love light beaming from your radiant eyes.
I thank you.
Maalaala Mo Kaya
is a song written by Filipino composer Constancio de Guzman.
It was covered by singers such as The New Minstrels, Pilita Corrales, Eva Eugenio, Leo Valdez, Diomedes Maturan and Ryan Cayabyab.
“Maalala Mo Kaya” has been a part of every Filipino home. Each episode features real-life story that brings laughter and tears that strengthen the ties that bind all of Kapamilyas wherever they are in the world.
Maalaala Mo Kaya? (Would You Remember?)
ORIGINAL TAGALOG LYRICS
Maalaala mo kaya
ang sumpa mo sa akin
na ang pag-ibig mo ay
sadyang di magmamaliw
Kung nais mong matanto
buksan ang aking puso
At tanging larawan mo
ang doo’y nakatago.
‘Di ka kaya magbago
sa iyong pagmamahal
Tunay kaya giliw ko
hanggang sa libingan?
O, kay sarap mabuhay
lalo na’t may lambingan
Ligaya sa puso ko
ay di na mapaparam
FREE ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Would you remember
your oath to me
that your love would
never fade
If you want to understand
open my heart
Only your picture
is hidden there.
Wouldn’t your love
change?
Would you really be
my love till the grave?
O, how delicious life is
especially with someone to love
The joy in my heart
will nevermore vanish.
TOSELLI'S SERENADE
(Music : Enrico Toselli)
Mario Lanza & Mary Schneider
Rimpianto, one of the sweetest serenades, was composed by Enrico Toselli (1883-1926), an Italian pianist and composer who wrote operetta, chamber music, and songs, including his best-known, this Serenata (Rimpianto). The lyrics were written by Alfredo Silvestri. Born on March 13, 1883, Enrico Toselli, Count of Montignoso, was an Italian pianist and composer. His most popular composition is Serenata ('Rimpianto) Op.6. No.1. This version, known as “Dreams and Memories” with Como`s perfect velvet voice, is tune from his album “Perry Como in Italy”, released in 1966. and English lyrics were written by Carl Sigman.
Like a golden dream, in my heart e'er smiling.
Lives a vision fair of happy love I knew in days gone by.
Still I seem to hear, your laughter beguiling.
Still to see the joy, the love light beaming from your radiant eyes.
Will my dreaming be in vain?
Will my love ne'er come again?
Oh, come, shall we waste the golden hours of youth far apart?
What care I for live, without you by my side?
Do not delay, the hours slip away.
Your arms are my paradise.
You and only you can fill my heart.
Oh, star of my heaven,
Come back and shed your light upon my way.
Come back! Come back! ~
Saturday, December 23, 2017
It's Bougainvillea Season! “The bougainvillea is the most extravagantly beautiful flowering plant in all of nature.” – Christopher Turner
Living with Nature Center
San Vicente, Ilocos Sur
It's Bougainvillea Season!
“The bougainvillea is the most extravagantly beautiful
flowering plant in all of nature.” – Christopher Turner
Dr Abe V Rotor
The Siberian High brings in the chilly air;
it's amihan, summer soon to take over,
and wakes the mystical bougainvillea fair,
on the landscape in prodigious cover. - avr
Bougainvillea spectabilis in bloom across the fence of San Vicente Botanical
Garden, San Vicente, Ilocos Sur. Photos taken by the author, January 15, 2023
Bougainvillea is a genus of thorny ornamental vines, bushes, and trees belonging to the four o' clock family, Nyctaginaceae. It is native to eastern South America, found from Brazil, west to Peru, and south to southern Argentina. Different authors accept from 4 to 22 species in the genus. The first species recorded in the Philippines was Bougainvillea spectabilis. The other species, B. glabra and B. peruviana were introduced much later. Grenada's national flower is the Bougainvillea.
Botanically speaking, the flowers of bougainvillea are not true flowers in the sense that they do not have petals and other floral parts typical of a true flower. The colored petals are modified leaves, specialized to attract bees, butterflies - including humans - to pollinate and fertilize the tiny true flowers centrally located, which seldom develop seeds. Bougainvillea is mainly propagated by cuttings.
By the way, bougainvillea is named after a person. It was first discovered by the French botanist Philibert Commerson in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in the 1760s. The name Bougainvaillea was named after his friend sailor Louis de Bougainville. ~
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Third Eye
Third Eye
Dr Abe V Rotor
Living with Nature - School on Blog
Lesson: Do you have a third eye? If so, can you tell the future?
Read and analyze the poem.
Fantasy or reality - how can we tellOne from the other without a third eye?Ah, but epics live on through the ages,As classics live through their spell,And Gulliver as told by the sages.
The third eye tells of a coming storm,No less than the vagaries of the mind;But what the future holds remains lockedIn God's will until the time has come,Beyond fantasy or reality or luck. ~
The World of Numbers
Dr Abe V Rotor
Lesson: Continue with this list to enrich your vocabulary for use in school and in conversation.


A swarm of locust
We are fond of numbers and we use different terms to denote animals, plants and our own species. These terms given to groups of animals give us distinct and more vivid imagery about their natural gregarious character.
Here are common examples.
• Lions – pride
• Goat – trip
• Cows – flink
• Sheep – flock
• Birds – flock
• Fishes – school
• Ants - colony

• Flies – swarm
• Cattle – herd
• Bacteria – colony
• Geese – gaggle (on the ground); skein (in the air)
A flock of birds
Grouping of plants is unique. Botanists and agriculturists use terms like tillers, as in rice; suckers in banana, runners and stolons in gabi and Bermuda grass, slips in pineapple. All these refer to the asexual progeny of a mother plant, duplicating itself many times in its lifetime. These are agronomic terms: a paddy of rice, an orchard, a grove of coconut, a plot or patch of vegetables.
Among us humans we use many terms such as a battery of lawyers, a battalion or platoon of soldiers, class in schools, team in games. a choir, a batch of graduates, or simply throng for a huge crowd. In an organization we group people into departments, divisions, sections, etc, specifying work and responsibility. Then we have such terms as congregation, fraternity, gang, and the like.
Systematics became a science not only to quantify but organize numbers. In biology, systematics which refers to identification and classification of organisms adopts the terms kingdom, phylaor division, class, order, family, genus and species, among sub-types, including smaller categories as races, varieties, breeds, accessions and cultivars.
Numbers, numbers, numbers - we live by numbers.
x x x
Reference: Living with Folk Wisdom, by AV Rotor, UST Press Manila


A swarm of locust
Here are common examples.
• Lions – pride
• Goat – trip
• Cows – flink
• Sheep – flock
• Birds – flock
• Fishes – school
• Ants - colony

• Flies – swarm
• Cattle – herd
• Bacteria – colony
• Geese – gaggle (on the ground); skein (in the air)
A flock of birds
Grouping of plants is unique. Botanists and agriculturists use terms like tillers, as in rice; suckers in banana, runners and stolons in gabi and Bermuda grass, slips in pineapple. All these refer to the asexual progeny of a mother plant, duplicating itself many times in its lifetime. These are agronomic terms: a paddy of rice, an orchard, a grove of coconut, a plot or patch of vegetables.
Among us humans we use many terms such as a battery of lawyers, a battalion or platoon of soldiers, class in schools, team in games. a choir, a batch of graduates, or simply throng for a huge crowd. In an organization we group people into departments, divisions, sections, etc, specifying work and responsibility. Then we have such terms as congregation, fraternity, gang, and the like.
Systematics became a science not only to quantify but organize numbers. In biology, systematics which refers to identification and classification of organisms adopts the terms kingdom, phylaor division, class, order, family, genus and species, among sub-types, including smaller categories as races, varieties, breeds, accessions and cultivars.
Numbers, numbers, numbers - we live by numbers.
x x x
Reference: Living with Folk Wisdom, by AV Rotor, UST Press Manila
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
"The poetry of the earth is never gone."- John Keats
"The poetry of the earth is never gone."
- John Keats
Nature mural on a wall by Dr Abe V Rotor
Details of mural for analysis and critiquing.
"When nature shall then be gone,
like Paradise lost after the fall,
a make-believe mural on a wall rises,
beautiful in the setting sun." - avr
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Practical Art: Native Chandelier and Lampshade
Dr Abe V Rotor

I took this photo of a ceiling decor in a restaurant along Mindanao Avenue QC. I later realized its uniqueness from ready made chandeliers. A blend of warm and bright colors exudes an ambient air. To the artist, he sees stained glass; to the decor expert, lampshades; the jeweler, strings of a gems in pabitin or trellis arrangement. The ceiling is kept in the dark so that focus is given to the centerpiece with secondary lighting lending to such emphasis.
Living with Nature School on Blog
Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid (People's School-on-Air) with Ms Melly C Tenorio
738 DZRB AM Band, 8 to 9 evening class Monday to Friday
I took this photo of a ceiling decor in a restaurant along Mindanao Avenue QC. I later realized its uniqueness from ready made chandeliers. A blend of warm and bright colors exudes an ambient air. To the artist, he sees stained glass; to the decor expert, lampshades; the jeweler, strings of a gems in pabitin or trellis arrangement. The ceiling is kept in the dark so that focus is given to the centerpiece with secondary lighting lending to such emphasis.
Friday, December 15, 2017
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Waterfall - Link of Land and Sky, Body and Soul
Dr Abe V Rotor
Waterfall painting in acrylic, by
AVRotor 2015
Reach the sky through the waterfall,
from cloud to rain down the stream,
cascading, tumbling, in a column,
link of reality and ones dream.
And down the river of no return
meandering through the valley,
seeking its destination the sea
in a never ending story.
Life is like that of the waterfall
link of time and space and all,
with neither beginning nor end,
the essence of body and soul. ~
The Grain Center is as Old as Joseph's Dream and Aesop's Fable
Dr Abe V Rotor
Former Director,
National Food Authority
NFA Grain Center in
Cagayan Valley, circa 1977
Like
the nucleus of a cell depends the life of a nation,
the
Center the equalizer in times of plenty and lean,
buffer
stock is built like in Joseph's prophetic dream;
of seven
years of plenty and seven years of famine.
Politics
of war and peace draws the politics of food;
nothing's
really new but terminologies, flag and tool,
and Demeter
or Ceres the same goddess of harvest,
so
with The Ant and the Grasshopper in
Aesop fable.~
Use Wit and Humor to be an Effective Speaker
Use Wit and Humor to be an Effective Speaker
Start and intersperse your speech with appropriate wit and humor. First, break the ice, keep the attention of your audience to the end, motivate them and impart a lasting lesson.
Dr Abe V Rotor
Living with Nature - School on Blog
Living with Nature - School on Blog
Reference: All about Humor
The art of Using Humor in Public Speaking
By Anthony L Audrieth
Break the ice. Examples ”It’s a good thing love is blind; otherwise it would see too much.” Advice to doctors: “When treating cases of amnesia, collect the fee in advance.”Types of Humor
Anecdote (funny short story you have personal knowledge of.) Lincoln is a master anecdote teller.
Antonymism (contrasting words or phrases) “The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.”
“A woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.” – Oscar Wilde
Banter (among close friends) “Here he comes, hide his shorts you stole from him.” Of course this is not true. "Here comes the biggest carabao in the Philippines." the late Senator Aquino to then Senator Erap Estrada the sponsor of the Carabao Bill
Biogram (witticism about a famous person)
“Adam was the happiest man in the world because he had no mother-in-law.”
”Venus is a woman whose statue shows us the danger of biting our finger nails.”
Blendword (coinage of new words): “smog for smoke and fog.” “scurry for scatter and hurry.” “eat and run.”
The happy genius, Albert Einsten
Blunder (wit, a person who makes mistakes, makes look foolish)
“Dr Cruz returned from the US yesterday and will take up his cuties (duties) at the hospital.”
“Is it kistomary to cus the bride?” over eager newly wed to the officiating minister.
Bonehead (headline boner) “Population of RP broken down by sex and age.” “Girl disappears in bathing suit.” “Three men held in cigarette case.”
Boner (slip, short and pointed mistakes with amusing effect.) “The future of to give is to take.” The king wore a robe trimmed with vermin.”
Bull (absurd contradiction) “May you live all the days of your life.” – Jonathan Swift. “The happiest man on earth is one who has never been born.” “Miriam Santiago was the best Philippine president we never had.” Eulogy for (of) the late senator.
Burlesque (satire) Story of the Frog and a Princess. The princess related the story to her mother. … the next morning when the princess awoke, she noticed alongside her a handsome Prince. And would you believe it? To this day her mother doesn’t believe a word of this story.
Caricature (exaggeration in ludicrous distortion) “He is so tall he has to stand on a chair to brush his teeth.”
Catch Tale (funny story, with a catch at the end. “She laid still white form beside those that had gone before. No groan, no sob forced its way from her heart. Then suddenly she let forth a cry that pierced the stillness of the place, making the air vibrate with a thousand echoes. It seemed to come from her very soul. Twice the cry repeated, then all was quiet again. She would lay another egg tomorrow.”
Confucian Sayings (Ironic, yet with aphorisms; witticism ) Confucius says “Ostrich that keep head in sand too long during hot part of day burned in the end.” “Easy for girl to live on love if he rich.” “Man who make love to girl on hillside, not on level.”
Conundrum (riddle, word puzzle quite impossible to solve) “Why does a cow wear a bell? Its horns don’t work.” “What is worse than seeing a worm in an apple? Seeing only half of the worm.”
Cumulative humor (chain-story pattern) From an old English classic: “For want of a nail, the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe, the horse was lost. For want of a horse, the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.”
Double Blunder (mistake and another in an attempt to correct the first) A man in a party turns to another and asks, “Who is that awful-looking lady in the corner?’ “Why she is my wife.” Says the second man. “Oh, I don’t mean her,” the quick evasion. “I mean the lady next to her.” “That,” cries the man indignantly, “is my daughter.”
Epigram (prose witticism, satire, evils and follies of mankind)”The world should make peace first and then make it last.” “Always do your best, but not your best friend.” “We don’t get ulcers from what we eat, but what is eating us.” “When you are right, no one remembers, when you are wrong no one forgets.”
Exagerism (overstatement, features, focuses on defects, peculiarities) “She is so industrious, when she has nothing to do she sits and knits her brows.” Story of a very strong typhoon by three humbugs: First, “.. so strong the wind blows you down the street.” Second: “In our place it’s so strong, when a carabao smiles it surely loses its hide.” Third: “Both your typhoons are nothing; in my place the flashlight can keep its light straight through the wind.” “A tree once grew rapidly that it actually pulled itself up by its roots. (early 1800 jokes called Yankeeism, Jonathonism)
Extended proverb (twisted proverb) “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Becomes an onion s day keeps everyone away.” “There’s no fool like an old fool – because he had more experience. “He who hesitates is probably torn between vice and versa.”
Fool’s Query (foolish question) Guide explaining to tourists: “And these rock formations were piled up by the glaciers,” he said. “but where are glaciers?” asked an elderly woman. “They’ve gone back Madam, to get some more rocks.” Was the reply.
Freudian slip (humorous accidental statement) After a party a couple attended, the wife said warmly with a handshake, “It was so nice for us to come.” (Freud discovered accidental slips are subsurface thought processes that remove neurotic symptom.
Gag (clever remark funny trick) “Did you get up with a grouch today?” “No, she got up before me.”
Mixed words (after Goldwynism, moviemaker) “Answer me a question.” (from Lost Horizon). Hapasible (hampass is to blow) “Shinong lashing?” Drunk
Hecklerism (heckling, noisy drunk interrupting emcee) “Hey, you are a day late!” “Why don’t you tell that to the marines!”
Irony (expressing opposite of what is really meant) When Lincoln was once told that a northerner politician had expressed a strong dislike for him, he stroked his chin in perplexity. “That’s odd,” he said. “I cant understand why he dislikes me. I never did.”
Response of a lottery winner to a friend who asked, “Are you excited?” “Me excited? I’m as calm as a man with his pants on fire.”
There was a young man who left town, went to a big city and made quite a name for himself. After five years absence he arrived at a train station in his old home town. Despite his expectations there was no one at the platform he knew. Discouraged he sought out the station master, his friend since childhood. To him at least he would be welcome, and he was about to extend a hearty greeting, when the other spoke first. “Hello George,” he said. “Going away?”
Malapropism (French mal-a-propos, inappropriate, out of place) “Please, ladies, feel in the family way.” (feel at home) “I approve the permanent appointment of all prostitute teachers.” (substitute teachers)
Marshallism (satiric, twist-witticism, attributed to US V Thomas Marshall) What is country needs a man who can be right and President at the same time.” “What our country needs is more of good citizens and less of law.”
Mistaken Identity (comic confusion of one person or thing with another) portrays ignorant person or simpleton. “Hi, George, Happy birthday.” “ I’m Johnny, he is George,” pointing at the celebrant.
Nonsensism ((mock logic, fallacies without reason, epigram, wisecrack) “She has money more than she can afford.” “My father and mother are cousins – that’s why I look so much alike.”
Parody (satire, wordplay) “Don’t worry if your job is small. And your rewards are few, Remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you.”
Personifier (celebrity’s most typical trait, related to caricaturism and biogram) , “Samson was so strong, he could lift himself by his hair three feet off the ground.”
Practical Joke (joke put to action). Gadget prank, rough. Discomforting. “Here’s your fruit juice. Toast.” It turn out to be liquor, and the poor fellow coughs. Laughter.
Recovery (blunder and wit combined)An employee was found asleep by his foreman. “Good heavens!” he cried upon being awakened. “Can a man close his eyes for a few minutes of prayer?”
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