Friday, May 1, 2026

Ka Melly C Tenorio: Pioneer of People’s School-on-Air

   Ka Melly C Tenorio: Pioneer of People’s School-on-Air  

(Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid) 

Original Title: The Indefatigable Ka Melly

Ka Melly C Tenorio is the pioneer, and the longest radio program host of a non-conventional approach in education in the Philippines based on “university without walls."  Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid or People’s School-on-Air grew from a local radio broadcast in the eighties to become an Internet-linked broadcast worldwide. The Program ended at the onset of the Duterte Administration.

                                                            Dr Abe V Rotor 
Radio Program Instructor
Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid 

Rocky Cliff of Media in acrylic by AVRotor for Ka Melly C Tenorio on her 65th birthday and day of retirement from government service.  December 2, 2017

Atop the Rocky Cliff of Media

You made it Ka Melly, you are now on top, 
though a dot in the vastness of your view ;
if only retirement could silence the mind,
but to write your life is challenge anew, 
for nothing is as fulfilling as your career 
to go on making life lovely and true.

Lessons I Learned from Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid (People's-School-on-Air) with Ka Melly C Tenorio

1. Ka Melly is a pioneer of a new kind of education. “University without walls,” Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid or People’s School-on-Air. 

2. I met Ka Melly for the first time in the eighties at the old building of ABS-CBN. I was invited as a resource person in her program. Gradually, through the years we developed a relationship of teacher and moderator which may be likened to a horse-and-carriage relationship.

Ka Melly and Ka Abe - PBH tandem for more than three decades 


3. Were it not for Ka Melly, Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid (PBH) could not be what it had become  as the longest continuing school-on-air on radio in the Philippines, which included places outside the country reached by PBS-RB network. 

4. And thanks to the Internet, PBH was able to reach out worldwide. Lessons were not only heard on radio but read on the Internet as organized lessons posted on Website which are easily accessible.  

5. Paaralang Bayan is broad, if fact limitless in potential topics and audience. On my part with Ka Melly, I was able to discuss and post around 4000 lessons. These are accessible in three websites, principally avrotor.blogspot.com. To this time, past lessons even before 2006 can be searched in this website by subject matter at any time.  


6. Topics cover the 8 Realms of Multiple Intelligence (spatial or visual art, logic, intrapersonal, interpersonal, languages, kinesthetics, music and naturalism) which aim at developing the "holistic” person, principally among the young, and practical subjects which supplement formal education, as well as experiential knowledge, social media notwithstanding.

 
DZRB-PBH staff at DZRB station with Station Manager Allan Allanigue 
(left photo, foreground).

7. There are times of excitement, times of caution (we avoid discussing as much as possible  politics and religion), of light moments, and times of serious concern. But there were times, I, in particular, entertained the thought “of what use am I doing this?” particularly because being a resource person is free and voluntary.

8. Until someone called me in the middle of the night and said, “Thank you Ka Abe and Ka Melly for saving my life. ”I couldn’t grasp a thing to relate his statement. I am not a life guard. I donated blood only once in my lifetime and that was a long time ago. I let him continue. "Your program stopped me at the brink of self-destruction." He mentioned a lesson, “Stop before you reach dead end,” and related topics.

9. I felt like a disciple of the Good Shepherd. And here the biblical Lost Lamb got into the picture, opening a new challenge and stronger determination as a journalist. It is indeed a philosophy on the highest humanitarian level. How many lost lambs are there in the world today?

10. And this is a fact. Quite often the lost lamb is not only the marginalized, but one who is learned, ambitious, and those on the fast lane locked up in a race without a name and goal. What would Ka Melly and I tell them. We talk about art, poetry, kind Nature, the lighter side of life, a kind of laughter from the heart. It’s Ka Melly’s signature of smiling-and-laughing, you could readily notice in her voice.

11. “All the world’s a stage.” Yet we can’t always be the principal characters. In media we are merely catalyst for people to act, and they must act rationally in their best. But sometimes we encounter overenthusiastic callers. It’s not unusual and this is where diplomacy comes in. Diplomacy in media is an art.  Ka Melly is a master of that art. Hour after hour and she seems indefatigable. I only know the source of her strength is her loving family, and her dedication to her career.

12. We are students in many ways. Someone called up to tell that eating plapla (hormone induced male tilapia) would cause hair to grow on the face and body. I thought it was all right, but then the caller was not a man but a lady who insisted she was talking based on personal experience. I began imagining the new species. I don’t know how Ka Melly closed the conversation to the caller’s seeming satisfaction, without us accepting her theory. It was hilarious behind screen but it prompted me to do research. Though controversial, the idea led me to do my homework with the premise that tinkering with Nature is very dangerous, and indeed it is.

13. There are difficult moments with media especially when you have little to say, or none at all. What with one straight hour without advertisement, and seldom a break for station ID? Monday to Friday – that’s five hours a week in a heavy traffic hour (air and road).

One time I was driving back to QC from DLSU DasmariƱas after an evening class lecture. PBH was hooked up with my car radio. Then Ka Melly called. I couldn't find a parking place. Finally I found one and of all places I was directed in front of a beer house. And you know, we talked of vices and one of them is smoking. Luckily I had the article “From Cigarette Smoking to Pipe Smoking – then I Stopped: A Personal Saga.” It turned out beautifully with sound effects coming from the beer house. There’s no substitute really to personal experience with on-the spot setting. I even got a free can of beer.

 
PBH Resource Persons (Top, clockwise) NCBA vice president for academic affairs and director for research with Ka Melly and Ka Abe and wife Cecille; UN-FAO ecologist and veteran journalist with Ka Abe; veteran broadcaster with Ka Abe and Cecille; and professors from SPU-QC;

14. Another experience, this time was in Virac, Catanduanes. I was a speaker on Environmental Conservation. "I’m here in Catanduanes," I called Ka Mely. I summarized the contents of some papers presented in lesson style. And having a few minutes remaining I gave to a seemingly knowledgeable participant a chance to say her piece. It was nearly a disaster. She was very critical and out of topic. I learned another lesson. Don’t just pick anyone to talk on radio. You can’t “unsay” what has been said, not even on his or her behalf.

15. There was a concert in Ateneo de Manila University which Ka Melly emceed. My Daughter Anna accompanied me on the violin. Actually I declined the invitation by a Jesuit brother, a regular PBH guest. But it was a rare opportunity and honor. Ka Melly was very fluent and confident as usual with her introduction, and she didn’t know how nervous I was. I told myself, if Ka Melly isn't nervous, why shouldn’t I, too? Things turned out all right. You can’t be your best unless you are a bit nervous, anxious, and fired with enthusiasm. After our rendition Ka Melly congratulated me and Anna. I was avoiding to extend my cold and sweaty hand. There are trials you must face in media. The term mapapasubo ka is actually mapapasubok ka.

16. Another time, I played the violin in the Radyo ng Bayan station booth, to demonstrate traditional and semi-classical music. This time I was all confident. But I didn’t perform as well as I did in the Ateneo concert. “Bravo!” applauded Ka Melly. If only Ka Melly knew I missed a number of notes and a line! (On second thought, I told myself, "Alam niya, mabait lang siya." But what about our thousands of listeners?)

17. I am always aware of the element of humility in media. I often refer to the Pieta. What makes the Pieta the "perfect" sculptural work of man is the essence of humility it exudes. When this early masterpiece of Michelangelo was struck with a sledge hammer by a madman, and later restored, more pilgrims were attracted to see it. It is now in a bullet-proof glass case in the Vatican, and the Pieta has found a place again in our troubled society. How many people are there in our times with the kind of reasoning of the madman, "When you can't acquire beauty your own alone, better destroy it so no one can truly own it?" How often is media led into this social quagmire!

     
Lessons in PBH are translated into Ilocano and published in Ka Abe's column Okeyka Apong (Our Heritage of Values and Lessons). Bannawag, counterpart of Liwayway (both mean dawn) is a weekly magazine with 50,000 copies per issue, half of which is shipped to Ilocano communities abroad. Okeyka Apong will be on its 12th year in 2018. Ka Abe right, with Bannawag Executive Editor. 
PBH and the Community Newspaper (Greater Lagro Gazette) which was awarded best barangay newspaper in QC.) The Gazette regularly publishes lessons with Ka Abe as president of LAWIN (Lagro Assn of Writers and Artists Inc). With him is the editor in chief of the Gazette and chairman of LAWIN.
 
PBH counterpart in Thailand - 
Sokhothai Thammathirat Open University (STOU), the first university in Southeast Asia to use the distance learning system;  Ka Abe in an interview at STOU 2008. With strong government support, PBH can be institutionalized like STOU with the country's present network of schools and universities. STOU has more than 200,000 students enrolled in different courses from vocational to medicine to graduate studies. Another Thai University has one-half million students in its "university-without-walls" program. All over the world, one of the biggest revolutions taking place is in media and education. PBH has greatly contributed to this movement. But we have yet to break the cartel of schools and universities gripping the educational system of our country.

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PBH won the Oscar Florendo Award for Developmental Communication, circa 1998; Philippine Award  for Best Blog on Nature and Environment in 2015 (PBH lessons are linked with the Internet), Gintong Aklat Award 2003, National Book Award 2008 (2 books in a series which carry PBH lessons; and Father Jose P Burgos Achievement Award, particularly on the aspect of media 2015). It is also for PBH that Ka Abe was awarded Outstanding Alumnus for Journalism by the Lyceum of the Philippine University on the recommendation of Manager Allan Allanigue. These awards and various citations demonstrate the dynamic and professional management of the DZRB-PBH through the years. Former Manager John Manalili also received various awards after his retirement.  
-------------------------------------------------------------- 
  
PBH participates in national conventions (left, on allergy), and training of teachers under the K-12 program
PBH is deeply involved in environmental conservation. Top, clockwise: global
warming, widespread poverty, overpopulation, and deforestation.
 
PBH takes part in children's feeding program, (left), and art workshop.
 
PBH conducts seminar-workshops with Barangay Greater Lagro QC, for senior citizens; and works with the academic community (UST Graduate School Students).

18. What would happen to PBH after Ka Melly?

First of all here is a cursory look into the lessons of PBH, by subject matter: Current Events, Food and nutrition, Ecology and Environment, Agriculture and Food, Practical Tips for Everyday Living, Science and Technology, Disaster Preparedness, Response and Recovery,

Medicine and Healthcare, Education and Training, Lighter Side of Life, Communication and Arts, Humanities and Applied Aesthetics, Morals and Ethics, Economics and Entrepreneurship, Family and Society, Biology and Related Life Sciences, Culture and Tradition, Industry and agribusiness, Personality Development.


The least discussed, if at all, are Politics and Religion.

With the Website avrotor-blogspot.com (Living with Nature) (or Dr Abe V Rotor) these topics can still be accessed as short articles accompanied by photos and illustrations, and written in English, in simple style. These topics will remain accessible worldwide, perhaps for years, to visitors of the website. No other conditions are set, aside adhering to the genuine purpose of the lessons. acknowledgement of the source, and that the  Code of Ethics in Journalism, and conditions set by the Web are not violated.  

These lessons shall be phased out as PBH lessons, ultimately becoming independent articles linked to various websites - riding on the principle of Multiplier Effect. And new articles shall be added on regularly under avrotor.blogspot.com (Living with Nature, with two extended blogs). 

As long as there are visitors to these blogs, PBH lives on.  So does the indefatigable Ka Melly, who built Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid as an insitution.    
  
                                                For Ka Melly
                      The Plus Factors of a Happy and Fulfilled Life  
and - Yes, you will live long. 

Dr Abe V Rotor  

                           The Pond - A Place of Happy Thoughts, in acrylic AVRotor

When the sun rises, be there and catch its rays, pristine, golden piercing the fog and mist, turning dewdrops into diamonds cascading to the ground, vanishing into the air, birds chirping to herald the day - you will live long;

When the sun sets, it is but the parting of day, no tears no regrets, it goes to its bed on the horizon, and soon, you too shall find rest in comfort and thanksgiving, taking away the rigors of the day - you will live long;

When tired muscles and nerves, before they snag and pull you down, stop and let nature take over, you have a lot of reserve you don't only know - breath deep, relax and dream of the things you love - you will live long;

When in doubt and indecisive, cautious and anxious, these you must respect, they are within your barometer telling you to find the best path to take - and, if ever the risk is well deserved, take the less trodden with pride - you will live long;

When lost in the woods or in the concrete jungle, in eerie shadows among trees or blinding neon lights, stop but briefly for composure, but never stop, your home is just there waiting for you - you will live long;

When feeling sick you are sick, when angry you are angry, when lonely you are lonely; when happy you are happy, you are the master and captain of your life, steer your ship well having set its course - you will live long;

When the seasons are changing fast, you must be in love with your work, your life and family, your friends and organization - they make things easy for you, as you make things easy for them too, rejoice, it's a great life - you will live long;

When your pulse is racing with your heartbeat, temperature sending blood to your head, eyes blurred by tears and anger, your gait and stride now heavy and disturbing, your smiles and laughter leaving dry furrows, take a break, a long break - you will live long;


When sick doctors affirm, don't give up, the good hormones will drive the bad ones away, stem cells in your bone marrow will double up, metabolism slows down, enhance these natural processes, be happy - you will live long;

When you are yourself and not somebody else, when models rise to challenge you, when idealism and reality meet at the hallowed ground of humanity, where goodness prevails, be more than a witness, you have your own role to play - you will live long;

When life advances past your prime, look to the golden years, the best of life yet, believe in wisdom distilled from knowledge, in a diary you wrote as your living epitaph, for having borne children, the meaning of immortality - you will live long;

When the Angelus bell rings and you hear it not a peal but sweet call, when all around you gather your family and friends, those you found joy in helping - the hungry, the thirsty, the naked, the imprisoned, the lonely and abandoned - those you served on media as the Good Shepherd. you will live long, and forever live. ~

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"Education is the most powerful weapon which 
you can use  to change the world." - Nelson Mandela
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Usapang Bayan - World Laughter Day May 3, 2026: Laughter helps you live longer. "He who laughs, lasts."

Laughter helps you live longer
“He who laughs, lasts.”
 
Ms Melly C Tenorio, host, and Dr Abe V Rotor, guest
Part 1 -  You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you are laughing.

Nothing diffuses anger and conflict than a shared laugh.  Looking at the funny side can put problems into perspective and enable you to move on from confrontations without holding onto bitterness and resentment.

 

Albert Einstein in a very good mood.  I can virtually hear his laughter.

 A study in Norway found that people with a strong sense of humor outlived those who don’t laugh as much. Laughter relaxes the whole body.  A good and hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscle relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.  Laughter boosts the immune system.  Laughter decreases stress hormone and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease

  Laughter -


· Boosts immunity
· Lowers stress hormones
· Decreases pain
· Relaxes your muscles
· Adds joy and zest to life
· Eases anxiety and tension
· Relieves stress
· Improves mood
· Strengthens resilience
· Prevents heart disease

 Laughter stops distressing emotions.  You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you are laughing.  Laughter draws you closer to others, which can have a profound effect on all aspects of your mental and emotional health.

Part 2 - Take a break with humor 

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." - Bill Cosby

Dr Abe V Rotor 


Light moments, Amadeo, Cavite, author with his students at the UST  graduate school. 

1. A judge in sentencing a criminal recently said, "I am giving you the maximum punishment - I am letting you go free to worry about taxes, inflation, and everything else, just like the rest of us."

2. In prehistoric times, cavemen had a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine-chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. When modern men go through the same ritual, they call it golf.


3. Not so long three lunatics escaped from a large asylum. Search officers combed the surrounding countryside for twenty-four hours, and they finally brought in five.


4. When the Creator gave out brains, I thought he said trains - and I missed mine! When He gave out good looks, I thought he said books - and I didn't want any! And when He said noses, I thought he said roses - and I ordered a big red one.


5. A young woman boarded a crowded bus. A tired little man got up and gave her his seat. There was a moment of silence. "I beg your pardon?" said the tired man. "I didn't say anything," replied the young woman. "I'm sorry," said the man. "I thought you said 'Thank you.'"


6. A grade-school student was having trouble with punctuation. "Never mind, sonny," said the visiting school board president, consolingly. "It's foolish to bother about commas; they don't amount too much, anyway." "Elizabeth Ann," said the teacher, "please write this sentence on the board: "The president of the board says the teacher is misinformed." "Now," she continued, "put a comma after the board and another after teacher."

Celebrate your successes. Find some humor in your failures. - Sam Walton
7. An American engineer returned recently from a mission to the Soviet Union. The Russians, he reported, were fascinated by the Americans' use of the expression OK. " But what is this Okie-Dokie? one Russian asked him. Before he could answer, another Russian interrupted with, "Don't be a dope. It's the feminine of OK.


8. It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope. (Pope John Paul XXIII)


9. Here's a story about smart kids. "I wonder why people say Amen and not Awomen?" Bobby questioned. His little friend replied, "Because they sing hymns and not hers, silly."


10. Here's a story for the political candidate for the coming election. Voter: "Why, I wouldn't vote for you if you were Saint Peter himself." Candidate: 'if I were Saint Peter, you couldn't vote for me - you wouldn't be in my district."


11. Motorist: "Your honor, I was not drunk.  I was only drinking." 

      Judge: "Well, in that case I an not going to send you to jail for one month - only for 30 days." 

12. A fellow in a lunatic asylum sat fishing over a flower bed.  A visiting doctor, wishing to be friendly asked.

"How many have you caught?"
Answered the not-so-dumb fisherman, "You are the ninth."

13. The many faces of Peace
Peace is often mispronounced and a butt of jokes: fish, feast, piss, fish be with you, phase 1- phase 2, piece of paper, may you rest in peace (good sleep). – (Fr. Jerry Orbos, June 11, 2006)

14. Count

What comes after five? Six, po. 7? Eight, po. Who taught you how to count? My father, po.  What comes next after ten? Jack, po. (Fr. Jerry Orbos, June 11, 2006)

15. Neighbors

"Good morning, madam. I'm the piano-tuner."
"But I didn't send for a piano-tuner."
"I know, It was a committee of your neighbors that called up." 

16. Man - Men
Men can be divided into three classes:

  1. The handsome
  2. The intellectual
  3. The great majority
17. Three things to give to marriage:
  1. Industry
  2. Inspiration
  3. In

18. Kiss
"Best way to quiet a hysterical girl ," said the psychologist, "is to give her a kiss."
"But how do you get them hysterical?"

19. Language 
"So you have just returned from Paris.  Did you have any trouble with your French?"
"No, but the French did."

20. Just to show you
A wife was frying eggs for her husband’s breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen, “Careful…
CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful… CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUK! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Don’t forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”

The wife stared at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”


The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you how it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I’m driving.

Acknowledgment: Jokes, Quotes and One-Liners for Public Speakers by Prochnow H V and HV Prochnow Jr; Speaker's Encyclopedia of Humor by Jacob Braude, Prentice-Hall


Part 3 -  Learn and practice the art of telling jokes 

Author make a tree laugh

The art of telling stories that are humorous and witty, jolting people from their seats, or simply breaking the ice, so to speak, is an art. It disarms people from bad mood, lightens the load of daily grind, and makes them share it.. their own jokes and wits as well.

On waking up and find yourself a millionaire
Five Filipinos were discussing what they would do if they awoke one morning to discover that they were millionaires. The Cebuano said he would build a big cockpit arena.
The ManileƱo said he would go to Las Vegas and have a good time.
The PalaweƱo said he would build an island resort.
The Ilocano said he would deposit the money in the bank and live on its interest.
The Boholano said he would go to sleep again to see if he could make another million.

Why does a captain go down with his ship?
A soldier who lost his rifle was lectured by his captain and told he would have to pay for it.
"Sir," gulped the soldier, "Suppose I lose a tank, will I have to pay it, too."
" Yes, you will, even if it takes your whole life in the army."
"Now I know why a captain goes down with his ship."

Honesty really pays
Two friends were riding a bus and had just reached their destination. At the station one of them realized she hadn't paid her fare. Confessing to her friend she asked, "Did you pay for me?" To which her friend wryly answered, "No."
"Well, I'll go right up and pay."
"Why bother? That's just a small matter, and you were able to get away with it."
"I believe that honesty always pays." And virtuously she went to see and pay the conductor.
She returned holding a fifty-peso bill. "See, I told you honesty always pays!" "I handed a twenty-peso bill and he gave me this change." ~

Time and space
"The distance between Manila and New York is the same as from New York to Manila." Explained one of three friends.
"Well, not when you come back on the other side of the globe."
"What do you think, Jon-Jon?"
"I dunno; its just a week from Christmas to New Year, but is it a week from New Year to Christmas?"

Just the same
"If you have your life to live over," the prominent octogenarian was asked, "do you think you'd make the same mistakes again?"
"Certainly," said the old man, "But I'd start sooner."

Memory lapse
"Have you forgotten that 500 pesos I lent you a month ago?"
"Not yet, give me time." ~

Disparity
In his Sunday mass homily, the priest told the faithful, "As I look around, I ask myself, 'Where are the poor?' "
"But when I look at the collection, I say to myself, 'Where are the rich?' "

A five-letter word is the real problem
A five-letter word,
not enemy, not study,
not bored, not birth,
neither dying nor death;
wanting around the world
in springtime or autumn,
in dark days or sunny -
this five-letter word;
craved by everybody
none other but money.~

 
Author with his students at UST; children in frolic.

Activity: Write down jokes you can recall. They should be witty, clean and meaningful. Avoid vulgar jokes. Compile them into a collection or book.

                    Part 4 - Use Wit and Humor to be an Effective Speaker

Start and intersperse your speech with appropriate wit and humor. First, break the ice, keep the attention of your audience to the end, motivate them and impart a lasting lesson.  

Break the ice. Examples  ”It’s a good thing love is blind; otherwise it would see too much.” Advice to doctors: “When treating cases of amnesia, collect the fee in advance.”

Types of Humor

Anecdote (funny short story you have personal knowledge of.) Lincoln is a master anecdote teller.

Antonymism (contrasting words or phrases) “The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.” “A woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.” – Oscar Wilde

Banter (among close friends) “Here he comes, hide his shorts you stole from him.” Of course this is not true. "Here comes the biggest carabao in the Philippines." the late Senator Aquino to then Senator Erap Estrada the sponsor of the Carabao Bill 

Biogram (witticism about a famous person)
“Adam was the happiest man in the world because he had no mother-in-law.”
”Venus is a woman whose statue shows us the danger of biting our finger nails.”

Blendword (coinage of new words): “smog for smoke and fog.” “scurry for scatter and hurry.” “eat and run.”

Blunder (wit, a person who makes mistakes, makes look foolish)
“Dr Cruz returned from the US yesterday and will take up his cuties (duties) at the hospital.”
“Is it kistomary to cus the bride?” over eager newly wed to the officiating minister.

Bonehead (headline boner) “Population of RP broken down by sex and age.” “Girl disappears in bathing suit.” “Three men held in cigarette case.”

Boner (slip, short and pointed mistakes with amusing effect.) “The future of to give is to take.” The king wore a robe trimmed with vermin.”

Bull (absurd contradiction) “May you live all the days of your life.” – Jonathan Swift.  “The happiest man on earth is one who has never been born.” “Miriam Santiago was the best Philippine president we never had.”  Eulogy for (of) the late senator.

Burlesque (satire) Story of the Frog and a Princess. The princess related the story to her mother. … the next morning when the princess awoke, she noticed alongside her a handsome Prince.  And would you believe it? To this day her mother doesn’t believe a word of this story.

Abe Lincoln, the Storyteller

Caricature (exaggeration in ludicrous distortion)  “He is so tall he has to stand on a chair to brush his teeth.”

Catch Tale (funny story, with a catch at the end.  “She laid still white form beside those that had gone before.  No groan, no sob forced its way from her heart.  Then suddenly she let forth a cry that pierced the stillness of the place, making the air vibrate with a thousand echoes.  It seemed to come from her very soul.  Twice the cry repeated, then all was quiet again.  She would lay another egg tomorrow.”

Confucian Sayings (Ironic, yet with aphorisms; witticism ) Confucius says “Ostrich that keep head in sand too long during hot part of day burned in the end.” “Easy for girl to live on love if he rich.” “Man who make love to girl on hillside, not on level.”

Conundrum (riddle, word puzzle quite impossible to solve) “Why does a cow wear a bell? Its horns don’t work.”  “What is worse than seeing a worm in an apple? Seeing only half of the worm.”

Cumulative humor (chain-story pattern) From an old English classic: “For want of a nail, the shoe was lost.  For want of a shoe, the horse was lost.  For want of a horse, the rider was lost.  For want of a rider the battle was lost.  For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost  And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.”

Double Blunder (mistake and another in an attempt to correct the first) A man in a party turns to another and asks, “Who is that awful-looking lady in the corner?’ “Why she is my wife.” Says the second man.  “Oh, I don’t mean her,” the quick evasion.  “I mean the lady next to her.” “That,” cries the man indignantly, “is my daughter.”

Epigram (prose witticism, satire, evils and follies of mankind)”The world should make peace first and then make it last.”  “Always do your best, but not your best friend.” “We don’t get ulcers from what we eat, but what is eating us.” “When you are right, no one remembers, when you are wrong no one forgets.” 

Exagerism (overstatement, features, focuses on defects, peculiarities) “She is so industrious, when she has nothing to do she sits and knits her brows.” Story of a very strong typhoon by three humbugs: First, “.. so strong the wind blows you down the street.”  Second: “In our place it’s so strong, when a carabao smiles it surely loses its hide.” Third: “Both your typhoons are nothing; in my place the flashlight can keep its light straight through the wind.”  “A tree once grew rapidly that it actually pulled itself up by its roots. (early 1800 jokes called Yankeeism, Jonathonism)

Extended proverb (twisted proverb) “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Becomes "an onion a day keeps everyone away.” “There’s no fool like an old fool – because he had more experience." “He who hesitates is probably torn between vice and versa.”   

Fool’s Query (foolish question) Guide explaining to tourists: “And these rock formations were piled up by the glaciers,” he said.  “but where are glaciers?” asked an elderly woman.  “They’ve gone back Madam, to get some more rocks.” Was the reply.

Freudian slip (humorous accidental statement) After a party a couple attended, the wife said warmly with a handshake, “It was so nice for us to come.” (Freud discovered accidental slips are subsurface thought processes that remove neurotic symptom.

Gag (clever remark funny trick) “Did you get up with a grouch today?” “No, she got up before me.”

Mixed words (after Goldwynism, moviemaker) “Answer me a question.” (from Lost Horizon).  Hampasible (hampass is to blow) “Shinong lashing?”  Drunk

Hecklerism (heckling, noisy drunk interrupting emcee) “Hey, you are a day late!” “Why don’t you tell that to the marines!”

Irony (expressing opposite of what is really meant)  When Lincoln was once  told that a northerner politician had expressed a strong dislike for him, he stroked his chin in perplexity. “That’s odd,” he said. “I cant understand why he dislikes me.  I never did.”

Response of a lottery winner to a friend who asked, “Are you excited?” “Me excited? I’m as calm as a man with his pants on fire.”

There was a young man who left town, went to a big city and made quite a name for himself.  After five years absence he arrived at a train station in his old home town.  Despite his expectations there was no one at the platform he knew.  Discouraged he sought out the station master, his friend since childhood.  To him at least he would be welcome, and he was about to extend a hearty greeting, when the other spoke first.  “Hello George,” he said. “Going away?”

Malapropism (French mal-a-propos, inappropriate, out of place) “Please, ladies, feel in the family way.” (feel at home) “I approve the permanent appointment of all prostitute teachers.”  (substitute teachers) 

Marshallism (satiric, twist-witticism, attributed to US V Thomas Marshall) What this country needs is a man who can be right and President at the same time.” “What our country needs is more of good citizens and less of law.”

Mistaken Identity (comic confusion of one person or thing with another) portrays ignorant person or simpleton. “Hi, George, Happy birthday.” “ I’m Johnny, he is George,” pointing at the celebrant. 

Nonsensism ((mock logic, fallacies without reason, epigram, wisecrack) “She has money more than she can afford.”  “My father and mother are cousins – that’s why I look so much alike.”

Parody (satire, wordplay) “Don’t worry if your job is small.  And your rewards are few,  Remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you.”

Personifier (celebrity’s most typical trait, related to caricaturism and biogram) , “Samson was so strong, he could lift himself by his hair three feet off the ground.”

Practical Joke (joke put to action). Gadget prank, rough. Discomforting. “Here’s your fruit juice. Toast.” It turn out to be liquor, and the poor fellow coughs.  Laughter. 

Recovery (blunder and wit combined)An employee was found asleep by his foreman.  “Good heavens!” he cried upon being awakened. “Can a man close his eyes for a few minutes of prayer?”

The Relapse (opposite of Recovery) A man bought a railroad ticket, picked up the change, and walked off. After a few minutes he returned and said to the agent. “You gave me the wrong change” “Sorry, sir” replied the man behind the window. “You should have called my attention to it at the time.” “Okay.” Acquiesced the passenger, “You gave me fiver dollars too much.”

To Dr Kinsey, the sexiologist, a lady asked at the end of his lecture in the Q & A; A period, “Tell me Dr Kinsey, what is really the vital difference between a man and a woman?” “Madam, I can not conceive.” 

Reference: All about Humor
The art of Using Humor in Public Speaking
By Anthony L Audrieth ~