May 15, 2023
INTERNATIONAL DAY OF FAMILIES
Success in family life is primordial
(Original title: Married Life is a Gift)
Success in family life is primordial. Between career and family, many people have chosen the latter, and say with a sigh, “Well, you cannot have the best of two worlds.” And they choose family.
A Message for Mac and Anna on their wedding day
Dr Abe V Rotor
A Message for Mac and Anna on their wedding dayMarried life is perhaps the greatest challenge. For us who are married,
truly it is most difficult to know and say, “Yes, I have a successful married life.”
- On getting married and your friends come around, and you tell to the whole world, “Here is the person I will always love.”
- On having your first child and see the image of both of you and your spouse, you say, “Look he got my eyes, and chin of his papa.”
- On having a second or third child and the economy has not improved, you say, “I haven’t any increase in pay since last year.”
- On driving the kids to school, and then attend to chores, you say, “It’s like a storm had left all things out of their places.”
- On having your in-laws around and other relatives coming for weekends, then you realize you have an extended family.
- On leaving your present job (or his) and start anew, you say, “Tighten your belts.” Even so, your family is as happy as before.
- On having a home of your own - ” Home, Sweet Home!” It has a home garden, pets, playground, a farm.
- On having family disagreements, you say, “Well, if everything is yes, maybe only one is thinking.”
- On winning an award, and say, “I owe this thing to all of you, to our family.”
- On going to other places and call up, “I’ll be home for Christmas.” It is only summer though.
- You find time to celebrate life with your loved ones, your friends, your ninong and ninang, the members of your community – and particularly with those who have lesser in life.
- On experiencing a tragedy in the family, and find a shoulder to lean on, “Well, everyone loses a loved one at one time or the other.” And you wish the departed to find eternal happiness.
- On discovering a life threatening illness and you realize how each day passes with greater meaning and resolve, “Each day is a bonus.”
- On surviving and your hair is now gray, and the children have learned to live on their own. It’s about time they build their own families and follow their chosen profession or vocation.
- On receiving an award your children earned, and this time a sweet voice says, “This is for you, papa, mama.” A drop of tear rolls on your wrinkled face. Words are not enough.
- On being alone together, once more. The children have left, their visits become less and less frequent. It is like second honeymoon under the waning moon in the golden years of life.
- On having grandchildren. “You little one you got my nose, and chin of your grandfather’s.” “And you little one ... what’s your name, again? “
- Success in married life - yes, it is the greatest success a man or woman can achieve. It is this kind of success that makes the world go round. It is the very foundation of a family and therefore of human society.
- It is a kind of success no one is denied to aspire for, irrespective of race, creed, education, or culture. Yet it is one many people failed to achieve in spite of their wealth and power.
- Success in family life is primordial. Between career and family, many people have chosen the latter, and say with a sigh, “Well, you cannot have the best of two worlds.” And they choose family.
- Success is not always equated with money or power. But it is always associated with happiness. A philosopher once said, “Happiness is the only commodity, which if you divide it, will multiply.”
- Family life to be successful does not depend on one formula though. It thrives on new frontiers. There are always new things to discover. It is the discovery itself that is important, that makes it original and unique. And it must be always mutual. Joy to one is joy to the other.
- Success cannot be kept in a treasure box and locked. They say, “You cannot rest on your laurels.” Trophies are just symbols; they are not an end.
- Success in married life is neither abstract, nor merely spiritual. It is real. It is to be shared. It must be contagious. Let it be expressed with the children. It must be felt and celebrated in one way or the other without ostentatious show.
- It must be exemplified. It must strive to be a model. It should be able to pass as a paradigm of not only what life really is – but what it should be. “Life is the most difficult art, yet it is the finest.”
-Success in married life has an imprimatur. It leaves a mark. It shines on our epitaph after we are gone, and makes the flowers around it bloom to the fullest.
- Trials are not enough to weather success. Yes, to a courageous person, when asked, “Were you not afraid?” He simply said, “I was afraid, but I did the brave thing.” He picked up the pieces together and his family is once more solid and whole.
= Truly married life is a singular gift, it is a God given power to procreate, to bring forth new life, to enhance the perpetuation of humanity.
- As you switch on the vigil light and retire in the night, we are one happy family looking forward for the next day. For indeed, success must be lived with - day after day, season after season, year after year.
- At the end, we - all of us - come to submit our credentials to the One who made us all, Who gave us that star that guides our life, Who welcomes us at His throne when we shall then have reached it. ~
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When I was requested to give a message to the newlyweds – Mac and Anna - I said to myself. “Gosh, I should know I am really that successful in my married life.” For whatever Cecille and I have done so far – through thick and thin - I know our family has always been together – on the stage, on camping trips, painting exhibits, on visitation of the tombs of our departed, in the church, around the sickbed, on lectures, in the mall, on the farm, on rosary hour. Seldom have we found our ourselves lost when encountering the four “Ws” and one “H” – the very things that make life complex and uncertain. It is because my family is always there to answer these questions together. Life is worth living for. (Anna Christina is the daughter of the author and Cecille.)
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Asked what the great British Prime Minister and hero, Winston Churchill wanted if he were to be born again. He said with twinkle in his eyes looking at Mrs. Churchill. “I’d like to be Mrs. Churchill’s next husband.”
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