Friday, May 15, 2026

Seven Days in Vietnam - Extemporaneous Poetry 2005 (Article in Progress)

Seven Days in Vietnam - Extemporaneous Poetry

Dr Abe V Rotor

Vietnam War Mural Ho Chi Minh City, Photo by AVR 2005
Ho Chi Minh University at your portals,
An emissary of peace and friendship I come.
Tell me how you have attained peace,
And now, progress.
Is it the hammer and the scythe enshrined?
Enshrined in books and laboratories, in the field?
Enshrined in the heart and soul?


Repression, back home we call your system;
For we would rather march down the street
Or pray on our own,
Or plant a flagpole at every bend, each color
A nation, we call united and free.
This is university we know, we own, 
Maybe, maybe -
It is not really so, after all.

Roar a thousand bikes
Roar a thousand souls
Freed from the muted silence,
Now north and south are one.

If for any reason the trees have grown high,
Higher than buildings, e'en higher than the eye;
It was war, each tree a flag pole,
It was war, each tree a proud soul.

If for any reason the trees are bare and shrunk,
Their tops pruned, red flags nailed on the trunk,
It is peacetime, two scores after the battle cry,
It is peacetime, and people just pass them by.

A few minutes drive from the Ho Chi Minh University is the city's plaza and garden which takes pride in protecting trees spared by the war. Author stands before a heritage tree at the park.
I greeted, she greeted,
She flashed a smile,
I asked, "Where am I?"
She looked at my skin fair,
I looked at her eyes narrow,
Malay!
We nodded.

Western connotes invasion
Yesterday and now
On TV, on the streets;
It is acculturation
Like wild wind seeking every nook
Blowing through the pages of a book.

Twelve - by chance or design:
Apostles all in a new land
Peering into a curtain partly open
Looking for the Phoenix of Vietnam.

When old and new melt like alloy,
Its temper is sharper and keener
Against the invaders; it shines in the night,
Toils in the day, rising over the chime,
And the people look back
To look up for a star,
A lone star once up high.

 Author listens to an artisan play Vietnamese music with bamboo xylophone 

Why can't the Vietnamese speak English?
The GI spoke a different language
Never music to the Vietnamese ear,
He spoke with the gun, barked at passersby,
Through years he spoke loud day and night
In distant thunders, in fires
Raging in the forest and the sea;
He spoke of heroes of another land,
Of gods cruel, foreign, unknown;
Yet the Vietnamese well know -
For who can't know blood in any tongue?
Grief, sorrow, pain - words not spoken,
They just spill, they just throb.

The Mekong River, oh, it's like our Pasig:
Full of boats and ships and monsoon silt
Leading to the sea and carrying
Now and then red tints of distant past
To tell the world a lesson in humanity.
The Mekong River, oh, it's like our Pasig;
They run out to sea to meet the world.

Motorbikes, wave after wave,
Roar on the streets
In deafening sound.
Where have all the silence gone?
I looked at the rider.
He is young.
She is young.

Buildings are rising everywhere;
Booms toil day and night,
Waking babies and the angels,
The spirits of old, the dead in their graves.
Where is the hammer and the scythe?

Barges on the Mekong lie still
Berthed along huge vessels
As booms load Vietnam's bounty,
Emissary of peace and unity.

Minh Tam, you are my home
Away from home,
For a week, you make it timeless,
A room you make for a hall,
An honor to a foreign soul.

I open my window on the third floor,
A tree greets me, its branches stir,
Birdsong sweetly I hear.

The sun weaves through its crown,
Quivers with the morning breeze,
I breathe the air in peace.

But beyond smog rises into a veil,
Below bikes roar, perhaps a thousand,
Towers and chimneys stand.

I close my window, switch on the aircon,
Draw back the curtain, the tree is gone,
Birds, bikes, chimneys - all gone.

How can I compose a Vietnamese song?
I ask Beethoven for Nature sound,
Bach for genius in organization,
Chopin for dexterity of fingers,
And Schubert for feeling that lingers.

But I must pass through the Cu Chi Tunnel,
And fly over the delta and trace
The Mekong meandering to the sea,
And relive the country's history.
To compose a Vietnamese song.

Progress, what is progress, if we may ask?
The World Bank may tell us of gains forecast;
The scientist, a discovery in a flask;
In Vietnam, sweet revenge of a hateful past.

Cu Chi tunnel, the resistance cover,
Copied from the termites sans dome,
And the early Christian catacomb -
Daedalus and Wright, please move over.

Only the subterranean can make such burrow
Where a colony can live for years,
Cu Chi tunnel a copy of this ingenuity,
And shall last with pride and memory.

Author, right,  poses with Ho Chi Minh 
University professors at their campus.
Simple tools the Cu Chi people use
To hunt animals for food and game,
Against invaders they use the same
To defend their land from abuse.

Against weapon of mass destruction,
Indigenous technology on their part,
The Cu Chis re-tooled their native art,
The art to repel invasion.

All's quiet now, the Cu Chis did win,
Sounds of guns in the sky and below
Are no more, save the bamboo
Creaking with the passing wind.

A cathedral - but where is its door?
A barred gate, heavy lock at the rear,
Forbidden view not even the eyes can tour,
Footsteps only radar could hear.

That was before, the war is over now.
I knocked at the door. A kindly nun
let me in and showed me all around
Through the stained glass I saw the sun.

In the crypt I dared not treat,
My shoes dusty, I was in slack,
Yet dared I to ask from the dead,
And martyrs the courage I lack.

Bones and ashes of the holy ones
Remind us than even they
Pass this world but once.

Between two guards I pass,

Walk the aisle to the altar
To hear the holy mass;
I hear the heavy doors close
How deep is my faith?
I did not look behind.

I was going out, I heard a whisper.
I looked behind the heavy door.
John the Baptist baptizing Christ,
A painting bearing stains of war,
Imprimatur of a holy image.

I can't be an equal to this noble fighter,
He has more of suffering and pain and will.
I may have more from books and the pen,
Yet deserve only a chronicler to him.

At the museum the tanks, they are now silent.
Prison cells are ruins, they're mute as Lent,
And the living are busy, they just pass by,
Yet pause and sigh, even for a while.

I saw the French Guillotine in the museum,
The Huey Copter, the Howitzer'
I saw bamboo spikes and crude knives,
Side by side under muted whisper.
I saw the hammer and scythe
Sans worker and farmer.

Museum - repository of the past
Of answers often asked.
It is alive, it breathes of history
Reliving people's memory.
A Guardian, a chronicler it is
Yet never sets the mind at ease;
It digs into the distant past
And builds wisdom to forecast.

"Books, sir, buy books," a boy called,
Stopping me on my track
To the War Remnant Museum.
"No. no," my words are cold.

Back in time, the inhumanity of war
Unfolded beyond my relief:
Barbaric, groteque, pathetic -
At the end, stands the Red Star.

It is a star like David's indeed,
Goliath met his fate once more,
His sword broken, his armor rusted,
Another lesson of man's greed.

"Books, sir, buy books," he called back,
On leaving the sacred compound.
I read - in Iraq and Afghanistan,
It is the same that mankind lack.

Sister Marie paused,
I too, paused and looked up.
She pointed at an old building
And told stories of war.
As I listened, a bird was singing
Up in a nearby tree
Feeding her brood
And healing
A painful memory.

Saint Joseph, the Carpenter, stood on a hill
With Child Jesus lending a hand.
I, with a camera, stood still,
Waited for the cloud to unveil the sun.

A rainbow appeared behind the hill,
As the cloud burst into shower.
I, with a camera, stood still,
awed by a mysterious power.

Saint Paul, the Apostle in Vietnam -
You hold a book with your left hand,
A sword with your right.
I wonder why your book is open
and your sword out of its scabbard.
Where were you during the war?

Is is time you close the book
and lay your sword down.

What is civilization?
Ask the United Nations,
Ask the Vatican,
Ask the Conquistadores
Ask the Colonizers
Ask the white historians.

Thursday, May 14, 2026

Usapang Bayan: The Lighter Side of Life The Art and Practice of Wit, Humor and Riddles, in 4 parts

 Usapang Bayan May 15, 2026, Second Session

The Lighter Side of Life 
  Part 1 - The Art and Practice of Wit and Humor

Start and intersperse your speech with appropriate wit and humor. First, break the ice, keep the attention of your audience to the end, motivate them and impart a lasting lesson.  
Break the ice.  Examples  ”It’s a good thing love is blind; otherwise it would see too much.” Advice to doctors: “When treating cases of amnesia, collect the fee in advance.”

Researched and Organized by Dr Abe V Rotor 
Living with Nature - School on Blog 

Part 1 - The Art and Practice of Wit and Humor. Types of Humor
Part 2 - Soften the worst blows of life with humor.
Part 3 - The Lighter Side of Human Nature on Marriage and Married Life 
             according to some great men
Part 4 - Riddles, riddles - join the wit and fun

 A study in Norway found that people with a strong sense of humor outlived those who don’t laugh as much. Laughter relaxes the whole body.  A good and hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscle relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.  Laughter boosts the immune system.  Laughter decreases stress hormone and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease

  Laughter -


· Boosts immunity
· Lowers stress hormones
· Decreases pain
· Relaxes your muscles
· Adds joy and zest to life
· Eases anxiety and tension
· Relieves stress
· Improves mood
· Strengthens resilience
· Prevents heart disease

 Laughter stops distressing emotions.  You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you are laughing.  Laughter draws you closer to others, which can have a profound effect on all aspects of your mental and emotional health.


Ms Melly C Tenorio, host, and Dr Abe V Rotor, guest  

1. Types of Humor

1. Anecdote (funny short story you have personal knowledge of.) Lincoln is a master anecdote teller.

2. Antonymism (contrasting words or phrases) “The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.” 
“A woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.” – Oscar Wilde

3. Banter (among close friends) “Here he comes, hide his shorts you stole from him.” Of course this is not true. "Here comes the biggest carabao in the Philippines." the late Senator Aquino to then Senator Erap Estrada the sponsor of the Carabao Bill 

4. Biogram (witticism about a famous person)
“Adam was the happiest man in the world because he had no mother-in-law.”
”Venus is a woman whose statue shows us the danger of biting our finger nails.”

5. Blendword (coinage of new words): “smog for smoke and fog.” “scurry for scatter and hurry.” eat and run.”

The happy genius, Albert Einsten

6. Blunder (wit, a person who makes mistakes, makes look foolish)
“Dr Cruz returned from the US yesterday and will take up his cuties (duties) at the hospital.”
Is it kistomary to cus the bride?” over eager newly wed to the officiating minister.

7. Bonehead (headline boner) “Population of RP broken down by sex and age.” “Girl disappears in bathing suit.” “Three men held in cigarette case.”

8. Boner (slip, short and pointed mistakes with amusing effect.) “The future of to give is to take.” The king wore a robe trimmed with vermin.”

9. Bull (absurd contradiction) “May you live all the days of your life.” – Jonathan Swift.  “The happiest man on earth is one who has never been born.” “Miriam Santiago was the best Philippine president we never had.”  Eulogy for (of) the late senator.

10. Burlesque (satire) Story of the Frog and a Princess. The princess related the story to her mother. … the next morning when the princess awoke, she noticed alongside her a handsome Prince.  And would you believe it? To this day her mother doesn’t believe a word of this story.

11. Caricature (exaggeration in ludicrous distortion)  “He is so tall he has to stand on a chair to brush his teeth.”

12. Catch Tale (funny story, with a catch at the end.  “She laid still white form beside those that had gone before.  No groan, no sob forced its way from her heart.  Then suddenly she let forth a cry that pierced the stillness of the place, making the air vibrate with a thousand echoes.  It seemed to come from her very soul.  Twice the cry repeated, then all was quiet again.  She would lay another egg tomorrow.”

13. Confucian Sayings (Ironic, yet with aphorisms; witticism ) Confucius says “Ostrich that keep head in sand too long during hot part of day burned in the end.” “Easy for girl to live on love if he rich.” “Man who make love to girl on hillside, not on level.”

14. Conundrum (riddle, word puzzle quite impossible to solve) “Why does a cow wear a bell? Its horns don’t work.”  “What is worse than seeing a worm in an apple? Seeing only half of the worm.”

15. Cumulative humor (chain-story pattern) From an old English classic: “For want of a nail, the shoe was lost.  For want of a shoe, the horse was lost.  For want of a horse, the rider was lost.  For want of a rider the battle was lost.  For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost  And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.”

16. Double Blunder (mistake and another in an attempt to correct the first) A man in a party turns to another and asks, “Who is that awful-looking lady in the corner?’ “Why she is my wife.” Says the second man.  “Oh, I don’t mean her,” the quick evasion.  “I mean the lady next to her.” “That,” cries the man indignantly, “is my daughter.”

17.Epigram (prose witticism, satire, evils and follies of mankind)”The world should make peace first and then make it last.”  “Always do your best, but not your best friend.” “We don’t get ulcers from what we eat, but what is eating us.” “When you are right, no one remembers, when you are wrong no one forgets.” 

18. Exagerism (overstatement, features, focuses on defects, peculiarities) “She is so industrious, when she has nothing to do she sits and knits her brows.” Story of a very strong typhoon by three humbugs: First, “.. so strong the wind blows you down the street.”  Second: “In our place it’s so strong, when a carabao smiles it surely loses its hide.” Third: “Both your typhoons are nothing; in my place the flashlight can keep its light straight through the wind.”  “A tree once grew rapidly that it actually pulled itself up by its roots. (early 1800 jokes called Yankeeism, Jonathonism)

19. Extended proverb (twisted proverb) “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Becomes an onion a day keeps everyone away.” “There’s no fool like an old fool – because he had more experience. “He who hesitates is probably torn between vice and versa.”   

20. Fool’s Query (foolish question) Guide explaining to tourists: “And these rock formations were piled up by the glaciers,” he said.  “but where are glaciers?” asked an elderly woman.  “They’ve gone back Madam, to get some more rocks.” Was the reply.

21. Freudian slip (humorous accidental statement) After a party a couple attended, the wife said warmly with a handshake, “It was so nice for us to come.” (Freud discovered accidental slips are subsurface thought processes that remove neurotic symptom.

22. Gag (clever remark funny trick) “Did you get up with a grouch today?” “No, she got up before me.”

23. Mixed words (after Goldwynism, moviemaker) “Answer me a question.” (from Lost Horizon).  Hapasible (hampass is to blow) “Shinong lashing?”  Drunk

24. Hecklerism (heckling, noisy drunk interrupting emcee) “Hey, you are a day late!” “Why don’t you tell that to the marines!”

25. Irony (expressing opposite of what is really meant)  When Lincoln was once  told that a northerner politician had expressed a strong dislike for him, he stroked his chin in perplexity. “That’s odd,” he said. “I cant understand why he dislikes me.  I never did.”

Response of a lottery winner to a friend who asked, “Are you excited?” “Me excited? I’m as calm as a man with his pants on fire.”

There was a young man who left town, went to a big city and made quite a name for himself.  After five years absence he arrived at a train station in his old home town.  Despite his expectations there was no one at the platform he knew.  Discouraged he sought out the station master, his friend since childhood.  To him at least he would be welcome, and he was about to extend a hearty greeting, when the other spoke first.  “Hello George,” he said. “Going away?”

26. Malapropism (French mal-a-propos, inappropriate, out of place) “Please, ladies, feel in the family way.” (feel at home) “I approve the permanent appointment of all prostitute teachers.”  (substitute teachers) 

27. Marshallism (satiric, twist-witticism, attributed to US V Thomas Marshall) What is country needs a man who can be right and President at the same time.” “What our country needs is more of good citizens and less of law.”

28. Mistaken Identity (comic confusion of one person or thing with another) portrays ignorant person or simpleton. “Hi, George, Happy birthday.” “ I’m Johnny, he is George,” pointing at the celebrant. 

29. Nonsensism ((mock logic, fallacies without reason, epigram, wisecrack) “She has money more than she can afford.”  “My father and mother are cousins – that’s why I look so much alike.”

30. Parody (satire, wordplay) “Don’t worry if your job is small.  And your rewards are few,  Remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you.”

31. Personifier (celebrity’s most typical trait, related to caricaturism and biogram) , “Samson was so strong, he could lift himself by his hair three feet off the ground.”

32. Practical Joke (joke put to action). Gadget prank, rough. Discomforting. “Here’s your fruit juice. Toast.” It turn out to be liquor, and the poor fellow coughs.  Laughter. 

33. Recovery (blunder and wit combined)An employee was found asleep by his foreman.  “Good heavens!” he cried upon being awakened. “Can a man close his eyes for a few minutes of prayer?”

34. The Relapse (opposite of Recovery) A man bought a railroad ticket, picked up the change, and walked off. After a few minutes he returned and said to the agent. “You gave me the wrong change” “Sorry, sir” replied the man behind the window. “You should have called my attention to it at the time.” “Okay.” Acquiesced the passenger, “You gave me fiver dollars too much.” To Dr Kinsey, the sexiologist, a lady asked at the end of his lecture in the Q & A period, “Tell me Dr Kinsey, what is really the vital difference between a man and a woman?” “Madam, I can not conceive.”
--------------------------
Reference: All about Humor
The art of Using Humor in Public Speaking
By Anthony L Audrieth

Part 2 - Soften the worst blows of life with humor.

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." - Bill Cosby

Dr Abe V Rotor 

Light moments, Amadeo, Cavite, author with his students at the University of Santo Tomas  Graduate School. AVR 

1. A judge in sentencing a criminal recently said, "I am giving you the maximum punishment - I am letting you go free to worry about taxes, inflation, and everything else, just like the rest of us."

2. In prehistoric times, cavemen had a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine-chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. When modern men go through the same ritual, they call it golf.

3. Not so long three lunatics escaped from a large asylum. Search officers combed the surrounding countryside for twenty-four hours, and they finally brought in five.


4. When the Creator gave out brains, I thought he said trains - and I missed mine! When He gave out good looks, I thought he said books - and I didn't want any! And when He said noses, I thought he said roses - and I ordered a big red one.


5. A young woman boarded a crowded bus. A tired little man got up and gave her his seat. There was a moment of silence. "I beg your pardon?" said the tired man. "I didn't say anything," replied the young woman. "I'm sorry," said the man. "I thought you said 'Thank you.'"


6. A grade-school student was having trouble with punctuation. "Never mind, sonny," said the visiting school board president, consolingly. "It's foolish to bother about commas; they don't amount too much, anyway." "Elizabeth Ann," said the teacher, "please write this sentence on the board: "The president of the board says the teacher is misinformed." "Now," she continued, "put a comma after the board and another after teacher."

Celebrate your successes. Find some humor in your failures. - Sam Walton
7. An American engineer returned recently from a mission to the Soviet Union. The Russians, he reported, were fascinated by the Americans' use of the expression OK. " But what is this Okie-Dokie? one Russian asked him. Before he could answer, another Russian interrupted with, "Don't be a dope. It's the feminine of OK.


8. It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope. (Pope John Paul XXIII)


9. Here's a story about smart kids. "I wonder why people say Amen and not Awomen?" Bobby questioned. His little friend replied, "Because they sing hymns and not hers, silly."


10. Here's a story for the political candidate for the coming election. Voter: "Why, I wouldn't vote for you if you were Saint Peter himself." Candidate: 'if I were Saint Peter, you couldn't vote for me - you wouldn't be in my district."


11. Motorist: "Your honor, I was not drunk.  I was only drinking." 

      Judge: "Well, in that case I an not going to send you to jail for one month - only for 30 days." 

12. A fellow in a lunatic asylum sat fishing over a flower bed.  A visiting doctor, wishing to be friendly asked.

"How many have you caught?"
Answered the not-so-dumb fisherman, "You are the ninth."

13. The many faces of Peace
Peace is often mispronounced and a butt of jokes: fish, feast, piss, fish be with you, phase 1- phase 2, piece of paper, may you rest in peace (good sleep). – (Fr. Jerry Orbos, June 11, 2006) PHOTO Happy children, AVR


14. Count

What comes after five? Six, po. 7? Eight, po. Who taught you how to count? My father, po.  What comes next after ten? Jack, po. (Fr. Jerry Orbos, June 11, 2006)

15. Neighbors

"Good morning, madam. I'm the piano-tuner."
"But I didn't send for a piano-tuner."
"I know, It was a committee of your neighbors that called up." 

16. Man - Men
Men can be divided into three classes:
  1. The handsome
  2. The intellectual
  3. The great majority
17. Three things to give to marriage:
  1. Industry
  2. Inspiration
  3. In
18. Kiss
"Best way to quiet a hysterical girl ," said the psychologist, "is to give her a kiss."
"But how do you get them hysterical?"

19. Language 
"So you have just returned from Paris.  Did you have any trouble with your French?"
"No, but the French did."

20. Just to show you
A wife was frying eggs for her husband’s breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen, “Careful…
CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful… CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUK! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Don’t forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”

The wife stared at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”


The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you how it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I’m driving.


Acknowledgment: Jokes, Quotes and One-Liners for Public Speakers by Prochnow H V and HV Prochnow Jr; Speaker's Encyclopedia of Humor by Jacob Braude, Prentice-Hall

Part 3 - The Lighter Side of Human Nature
on Marriage and Married Life a.cording to some great men

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." —Benjamin Franklin

                        Researched and Complied by Dr Abe V Rotor

1. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Alec Baldwin

2. “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw

3. "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."- Barack Obama

4. "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Rudy Giuliani

5.
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes” - Jim Carrey
11. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”—Benjamin Franklin

12. "After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together." - Al Gore

13. “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw

14. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Alec Baldwin

15.  “The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”—Anonymous

16. "I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me." - Bill Clinton

17.  “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.”—Anonymous ~

18. “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”—Ogden Nash

19. "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." —Winston Churchill

20. “Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”—Unknown. Marriage humor of great men and women. ~

Acknowledgement with gratitude and apologies to all concerned, and sources. - avr

Part 4 - Riddles, riddles - join the wit and fun  
What flower is white in the morning and pink in the afternoon?

Dr Abe V Rotor 
Living with Nature School on Blog

What flower is white in the morning and pink in the afternoon? From riddle and humor enthusiast and a good friend of the author, Dr Anselmo S Cabigan, former director, National Food Authority; and retired professor, St Paul University QC. Photo taken at Angels' Hills Tagaytay
1. What is the brightest day of the week?
Sun-day

2. Who was the world's greatest thief?
Atlas, because he held up the whole world. (photo, Internet)
  3. What key plays tricks with anyone?
A monkey.

4. What makes men mean?
The letter A.

5. What is the widest rope in the world?
Europe.

6. What flares up when struck on the head?
A match.

7. What stands on one leg and has its heart in its head?
A cabbage.

8. What tune does everyone like?
Fortune.

9. What can you say, and merely by doing so, break?
Silence.

10. What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
 ----------------------------------------------
Here is simple guide when answering riddles. You may fail to answer correctly, but don't fall into a trap. Because all of a sudden what is being asked in not a riddle - but plain fact, a common knowledge, or basic principle. Here is an example: Someone asked a college graduate in the midst of a riddle exchange session, "How is oxygen produced continuously outside the laboratory?" A long pause - then silence - the session broke into guesses. Answer: photosynthesis.
--------------------------------------------------
11. What, put in front of pies, makes them dangerous?
The letter S.

12. What did the bride think when she arrived at the church?
Aisle, Altar, Hymn (I'll alter him.)

13. What animal disturbs you in bed at night?
A night-mare.

14. What is the difference between a dressmaker and a nurse?
One cuts dresses, while the other dresses cuts.

15. Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because the B follows it.

16. What runs around the house that never moves an inch?
A fence.

 17. When did Adam and Eve stop playing games?
When they had lost their pair o' dice (paradise)

18. What carries hundreds of needles but never sews?
A porcupine. (photo, Internet)

19. Which dog will you find in a ring?
A boxer.
  
20. What is waste of time.
Telling a hair-raising story to a bald-headed man.

 21. What did the flour say to the water?
We'll be kneaded to make the dough. 

22. What part of a ship is strict?
The stern part. 

23. What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen?
It's time to repair it.

 24. What do you call father corn? Pop corn. Mother corn? Mais. Teacher corn? Mae(i)stra.

25. What is worse than seeing a worm in an apple?
Seeing only one-half of the worm. ~Answer to photo riddle: Balibago

Balibago (Hibiscus tiliaceus Linn), Family Malvaceae. Its flowers open pure white in the morning gradually turning into pink towards the end of the day, indeed a manifestation of God's mysterious ways.

ADD ON TO THIS LIST. HAVE A READY COMPILATION OF RIDDLES AND JOKES, AND BE A LIFE OF THE GROUP.

Compiled by AVRotor. Reference: The Armada Book of Jokes and Riddles; acknowledgment, Dr Anselmo S Cabigan, and Angels' Hills, Tagaytay.

6. “Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.”—Mickey Rooney

7. "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates

8. "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - George W. Bush

9. "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - Michael Jordan

10. "I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!" - Donald Trump