Care for the elderly in the family in our postmodern world: Marian Rocero Lazo (SVWorld Series)

PUL-OY (Breeze)

San Vicente Ilocos Sur RP to the World Series

Marian Rocero Lazo

Care for the elderly in the family

 in our postmodern world 

Dr Abe V Rotor

Demographic pattern, in the absence of devastating global conflict since WW II, has vastly changed: the young have broadened the base of the pyramid, while the old have pushed its apex to greater heights, both at an unprecedented rate – these being traced to population's rapid growth,  and increasing life span or longevity.  

  

Marian poses with her mother, Mrs Caridad Rocero Lazo, then 101 years old, at their home in San Vicente, Ilocos Sur

The world is getting older and older each day; longevity has increased virtually two folds since then.  Traditionally the old used to take care of the young; now the able ones must take care of their old folks. The world must adjust and learn to accept this inevitable reversal of roles soon enough in order to save the integrity and role of the family;

Longevity is not only the extension of life span, but adding active years in one’s life, the postponement of retirement itself. By Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-fulfillment and actualization become the prize of longevity, an opportunity of man to express ultimate respect and worthiness to his Creator;

Mother – generic address to anything akin to a real mother: Mother Earth, Motherboard, Motherland, Mother Formula, and the like; yet the term is often taken for granted, blamed for fault, desecrated in profanity. Yet the gene prevails, carried on generation after generation, ad infinitum;

Mother and Child – once the most revered piece of art from painting to tapestry to photography used to be found virtually everywhere since the Renaissance, a bond across beliefs, cultures and generations. Wonder what can replace the image, more so the reverence, piety, love and happiness it conveys!

Love in its ideal essence is reciprocal from birth to death, encompassing three stages of life – and beyond. This is the timelessness of love, the exemplary love and passion of Nightingale, Browning, Wilcox, St Mother Teresa, and innumerable “unknown soldiers” of humanity immortalized in history and kept alive in faith and hope;

Tested by ambition and opportunity, war and survival, ideals and imperfections of society, a family clings on values to keep wholeness and sanity, where wisdom of the old folks takes the backseat, while change takes their children to unknown frontiers;

Quo vadis? Where forth do they go? The old counting the hours, the young the years; the old on rocking chair, the young on swivel chair; the old writing memoirs, the young planning ahead. Incompatibility separates generations, where has love between them gone? In some corner an old recites a prayer - what could it be?  

It is a prayer transformed into blessing every time someone takes her hand and presses it on his or her forehead, calls her lola, and gives the primordial hug that cuts through time, that brings back the happy memories and make them immortal, submits to nature’s periodicity and God’s gift of creation;

The newest social invention - Home for the Aged, is hailed a second home, but whose home? Wonder if this is the family’s final end, if the home is like a bird’s nest torn and blown away, and the mother gone soon after her brood has learned to fly away, each sibling to its own;

Home in a high rise condo - how cold, how dearth the naturalness of a rural home! Imprisoned within walls, hanging above the city, buried in smog, old folks in dirgeful chime of the clock wait for the final hour, wondering if their children would drop by for a visit, or simply send a greeting on the Internet;

Abandoned in her sunset years, a mother sadly waits for the curtain of life to close, yet to her very last breath calls inaudibly with tears running through the furrows the years have made – names familiar, lovely, in prayerful reminiscences;

Engraved on stone graying by forgetfulness and overgrown by weeds hides a name, once sweet and tender as the first word of a baby – how time has undermined the essence of Mother and Child like a passing wind!

“Unang yakap - Huling yakap” (first embrace - last embrace) are the most significant moments in the life of a family.

Wonder what The Good Life is all about without unity and harmony within the family! It cannot be just a product of science and technology, or so-called progress, of postmodernism which is “living in advance”. These are but material things that cannot be equated with the wholeness of the family;

Growing old is not pain of loneliness and sense of abandon.  On the other hand comfort and joy, as the last rays of life, like a burning candle is brightest before dawn, shortly thereafter comes the glow that heralds another day.  

Scenario: a kindly lady standing firm and resolved, who has unconditionally dedicated her life to taking care of her mother, then past one hundred years old. She has opened an unconventional, yet primordial, field of heroism, addressing millions and millions all over the world, in our postmodern way of living:  Take Care of the Elderly in the Family.   

Marian at 65, peacefully contemplates over contemporary and modern paintings of the author which are reflective of  today’s fast evolving society.  

Miss Marian Rocero Lazo holds two degrees (BSE and AB) from St Paul College Manila, and pursued advance studies while teaching in her alma mater and at Jose P Laurel High School in Manila for 23 years. She joined the faculty of St Paul College of Ilocos Sur in order to be near her old mother, a former public school teacher. (The author was  pupil of Marian's mother in Grade 3 at San Vicente Central Elementary School just after WWII.) Maan as she is fondly called is the third in a family of eight siblings who are all professionals. Her father, the late Angel Lazo, was also a teacher. She had two aunties – Sr Mamerta Rocero spc, and Sr Nathaniel Rocero spc, both doctoral degree holders in science and education.

On and off campus Marian has been involved in various activities during the transition period of the new curriculum (K12), in values formation through community service and catechism. She is an advocate of youth development through values formation.

At home is Marian - the nurse, therapist, dutiful daughter, loving, caring, and whatever wonderful words one can describe the multi-task role of Marian. Two worlds has she, two roles she plays, two blessings she deserves – a loving family and a successful career, two generations she serves (plus the youngest generation of today – Phoenix Generation) - all these are rolled into one super woman. 

Auntie Caring, as I always call Maan’s mom, being a relative on the Roberonta side, is a gem of our town. She is not only a model teacher, but a universal teacher – a title I wrote in a feature story about her. As a veteran of WWII, she is regarded a patriot for standing firm against the desecration of the Philippine flag, for which she was honored hero in her funeral.  Behind all these accomplishments is a humble daughter, equally honorable and worthy of emulation the world over. ~ 

Marian with relatives pray before an icon of the Resurrection at the author’s home art gallery in San Vicente, Ilocos Sur.

* San Vicente Ilocos Sur to the World Series feature is In celebration of Mother's Day May 9, 2021