Jokes I Remember in Old Age

  Jokes I Remember in Old Age

     Dr Abe V Rotor

Can you recall jokes and wits in your younger age?  Jokes are a spice of life, they are refreshing to the mind, and make you feel relevant in conversations with any age group. 

1. What time is it when the clock strike 13. (And everyone in the group looks at your wrinkled forehead) Of course the answer is, "It's time to repair it."

2. "Is it kisstomary to cast the bride? (Asked the nervous newly wed groom at the end of the ceremony)

Author attends to his hobby with happy thoughts 

3. Late guest to a cannibal party. "Sorry sir, but everybody has been eaten."

4. "When my marriage occurred..."   English teacher interrupts: "Occur is used when referring to calamities and unforeseen events."  "As I was saying," the student continues, "When my wedding occurred..."

5. What is the similarity of a hanging bridge and a banana?  Both are saging.

6.  What is the shortest bridge?  Nose bridge. of course.  What then is the longest bridge?

The Mabalacat-Bamban bridge, between Pampanga and Tarlac.  Please explain.   On one end chicken egg is called itlog (Tagalog); at the other, penoy (egg in Kapangpangan, but means egg hatching in Tagalog). That's how long the bridge is!  

7. What is the chemical formula of water?  Kinder: H I J K L M N O (H2O)

8. "If I cut both your ears, what will happen to you?" (Doctor)

    "I won't be able to see clearly." (Mental patient about to be discharged)
    "How is that?"
    "How can I wear my eyeglasses?"

9. ROTOR - spelled forward and backward, it's the same.  My daughter is ANNA. MOM for mama, my friend Roberto is BOB, and my pet dog ODO (with guttural sound, preferably repeated).  NOON, CIVIC, RACECAR - add your own. Try MADAM I'M ADAM

10 What is worse than seeing a worm in an apple?  Seeing only half of the worm.

11. Teacher corrects pupil, "Not unkol, uncle."  Try, "Nickel, not nickol".  Angle, not angol." Not for so long, the pupil fell on the stair, and his teacher came to the rescue. "What happened?"  "Ma'am, may bukel ako sa ulo. 

12. At the concluding ceremony of a spiritual retreat participants pledged openly and collectively on top of their voices never again to return to their old vices. After a soul-searching silence, the leader rose and called, "Please rise and repeat after me,"  

No more smoking!

NO MORE SMOKING!!

No more drinking! 

NO MORE DRINKING!!

No more gambling!

NO MORE GAMBLING!!

No more Women!

NO MORE GAMBLING!! ~