Take a break with Domestic Jokes

Selected by Dr Abe V Rotor

1. The many faces of Peace
Peace is often mispronounced and a butt of jokes: fish, feast, piss, fish be with you, phase 1- phase 2, piece of paper, may you rest in peace (good sleep). – (Fr. Jerry Orbos, June 11, 2006)

2. Count
What comes after five? Six, po. 7? Eight, po. Who taught you how to count? My father, po. What comes next after ten? Jack, po. (Fr. Jerry Orbos, June 11, 2006)

3. Grabe!
Two magkumare talking. “I am worried about my husband. Gabi na, siguro pumunta na naman sa kanyang chicks.”
“Ang pessimistic mo naman. Na accidente lang yan.” (Fr. Jerry Orbos, October 2006)

4. Just to show you
A wife was frying eggs for her husband’s breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen, “Careful…
CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful… CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Don’t forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”

The wife stared at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry eggs?”

The husband calmly replied, “I wanted to show you how it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I’m driving. ~