Laughter is Forever Part 2: Jokes for all Occasions

Laughter is Forever Part 2

Jokes for all Occasions

Dr Abe V Rotor

Doctor about to discharge a psyche patient: "If I cut both your ears 

     what will happen to you?"

Without much thinking the patent answered, "Then doctor, 

     I won't be able to see."

The perplexed doctor asked, "How's that?"

Patient: "How can I wear my eyeglasses?"

                                x   x   x

Teacher to smart pupil: "What is the formula of water?"

Pupil: "H I J K L M N O, Ma'am."

                                x   x   x

Doctor to patient looking depressed:  "Are you depressed?"

Patient: "No, I am the priest." (Priest newly assigned in the area.)

                                x    x    x

An old, old man, served as tourist guide in an old, old castle. At the end of the tour a kindly old lady expressed her gratitude, adding to her complement,  

    "You seem to know everything about this place, Sir.  How long have you been here?"

     With dreamy eyes, the old man replied in a low voice, "I've been here for 500 years, Madam."  

                                 x   x   x  

In an inter-regional oratorical contest, a scholar from the Visayas was likely to win, even before finishing the last line of "Oh Captain, my Captain." The audience was all set to give a thunderous applause... 

With passion the orator concluded, "Here lies my captain (paused) fallen, cold, and deed." (instead of dead). The hall instead turned eerily silent.

                                x    x    x 

After three days of spiritual retreat, the all-men retreatants assembled for their final pledge. "Repeat after me," said their retreat master.

    "No more drinking." Dutifully they shouted, No more drinking! 

    "No more gambling." No more gambling!

    "No more women." No more gambling! ~