Marriage in Critical Times - a Test of Love and Devotion

Marriage in Critical Times -

a Test of Love and Devotion

Lesson from Leo and Lorraine Matrimony, June 26, 2021

By Dr Abe and Cecille Rotor

First of all, allow us to express our gratitude to everyone for gracing this occasion, the wedding of Leo and Lorraine. We, the parents of Leo, cannot be physically present, for some restrictive reasons due to the pandemic.  

We reiterate our congratulations and best wishes to the new couple, and we express our readiness to stand by, for, and with them always.

Two things come to mind about marriage, two aspects that deeply bind marriage.  These are Love and Devotion. In fact there is a song of the same title.

The key difference of the two is that Love is defined as the intense feeling of affection, warmth, fondness, and regard towards a person or a thing. Devotion is defined as a strong feeling of love or loyalty. It is being loyal to a cause or duty.

Now, this is not a lecture as we would listen in the university, but we would like to emphasize marriage as a primordial and sacred institution. It is now being threatened,  and in fact, endangered in many liberal societies in postmodern times, aggravated by the pandemic.  

How significant is marriage, by the way? It is indeed a subject of many stories.  It is not only the first and oldest social institution; it is one of the most celebrated events, yearly remembered and historically recorded.  

In the Christian world we look at the beginning  of marriage in the Wedding at Cana  - where Christ made his first public miracle - the turning of water into wine.

If we take a close look at the biblical account of the wedding feast at Cana, we can learn three important lessons:

• Marriage is a sacrament,
• God wants to pour abundant grace upon your marriage, and
• Obedience is the key to receiving grace.

Marriage is the beginning—the beginning of the family—and is a life-long commitment. It also provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as husband and wife serve each other for the benefit of their children. 

Marriage is more than a physical union; it is also a spiritual and emotional union. This union mirrors the one between God and His Church.

Leo and Lorraine may find what we are saying quite familiar, but this is an opportune time for review and recollection.  Why is marriage important?

Importance of Marriage* 

1. Beginning
“Marriage is the beginning—the beginning of the family—and is a life-long commitment. ”

2. Oneness
When a man and woman get married, the “two become one.” Marriage is a bond like no other. It gives us a life partner, a teammate, as we move through the challenges of life together.

3. Purity
Marriage is designed for purity. We face temptation nearly every minute and from all directions. The bond of marriage gives us the support to defeat temptation by engaging in deep, satisfying love—a love that gives to, and receives from, our mate physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

4. Parenting
When a marriage produces a child, it is one of life’s greatest blessings. Roughly 40% of children being raised today are in a home without a father. The effects of that fact are staggering. The absence father in the family increases mental and behavioral disorders as well as criminal activity and substance abuse. But when children are raised in a healthy marriage, they get a front row seat to see and experience the lasting benefits of a strong family.

5. Love
Marriage is designed to mirror our Creator’s unconditional love for us. It’s a love that will always be there and will never leave us or forsake us. When a man and woman love one another unconditionally, contentment and joy follow.

Allow us to talk about the Myths about marriage. Here are the ten most encountered popular beliefs or myths.  

Myth 1: Marriage will solve all of your problems.
Marriage isn’t a magic wand that can take a person’s troubles away

Myth 2: Good, healthy marriages come naturally.

All relationships experience peaks and valleys. 

Myth 3: Living together first can test if the marriage will be successful.
Living together before marriage in many circumstances is associated with negative marital outcomes.

Myth 4: Your love life is neutral.

Your love life has spillover effects into friendships, and other familial relationships.
It also affects your physical and mental health

Myth 5: “Never go to bed angry.”
It’s OK to call a time out, but reconnect soon enough. 

Myth 6: Healthy marriages are conflict free.
All couples experience conflict, but healthy couples can communicate and resolve conflict effectively.

Myth 7: Your spouse completes you.
A spouse can only complement you, but not complete you.

Myth 8: Married people have less satisfying sex lives.

Survey says it is not true. 

Myth 9: Marriage is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.
Successful marriages aren’t generally the result of luck or chance. 

Myth 10: Conflicts only stem from the behavior of the spouses.
Strong boundaries around your marital relationship will help you and your spouse weather the storms of outside interference.

Putting time and energy into making your marriage work is a full-time job in itself. But it’s one worth making the investment in. If your relationship is stuck in any of these marriage myths, marriage counseling can help you focus on the realities of marriage to strengthen your connection.**

Again, we say Good Luck and Bon voyage to your new life's journey. ~

References
* All Pro Dad, Internet
** Center for Psychological Development, Internet