Thursday, March 21, 2013

Married Life is Bliss

Dr. Abe V. Rotor

Living with Nture School on Blog
Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid with Ms Melly C Tenorio
738 DZRB AM Band, 8 to 9 evening class, Monday to Friday 



Truly it is difficult to know and say, “Yes, I have a successful married life.”

- On getting married and your friends are around, and you tell to the whole world, “Here is the person I will always love.”

- On having your first child and see the image of both of you and your spouse? (“Look he got my eyes, and chin of his dad.”)

- On having a third child and the economy has not recovered? (“I haven’t any increase in pay since last year.”)

- On driving the kids to school, then attend to chores you say, “It’s like a storm had left all the things out of their places.”

- On having your in-laws around and other relatives coming for weekends, then you realize you have an extended family.

- On having a home of your own, and say, “What I paid for rent, I now pay for amortization.” And it is investment.

- On having family disagreements now and then and you say, “Well, if everything is yes, you are sure only one is thinking.”

- On leaving your present job (or his) and start anew, even when you start again at square one, and say, “Tighten your belts.” Even so, you think you are happier now, so with my family.

- On winning an award, and say, “I owe this thing to all of you, especially to my family.”

- On going to other places and call up, “I’ll be home on Christmas.” It is only spring though.

- On experiencing a tragedy in the family, and find a strong shoulder to cry on, “He was meant to be with us only for sometime. He is our angel now.”

- On discovering a life threatening illness and you realize how each day passes with greater meaning and resolve. (“Each day is a bonus - my life is not mine anymore.”)

- On surviving and your hair is now gray, and the children have learned to adapt to life, the way you wish them to be.

- On receiving an award your children earned, and this time a sweet voice says, “This is you.” A drop of tear rolls on your wrinkled face. Words are not enough.

- On being alone; the children had left home and your spouse (bless his soul) had left something for you to live the rest of your life.

- On having grandchildren. “You naughty one you got my nose, and your chin is your grandfather’s.”

Success in married life - yes, it is the greatest success a man or woman can achieve. It is success that makes the world go round. It is the very foundation of a family and therefore of human society.

- It is a kind of success no one is denied to aspire for, irrespective of race, creed, education, or culture. Yet it is one many people failed to achieve in spite of their wealth and power.

- Success in family life is primordial. Between career and family, many people have chosen the latter, and say with a sigh, “Well, you cannot have the best of two worlds.” And they chose family.

- Success is not always equated with money or power. But it is always associated with happiness. A philosopher once said, “Happiness is the only commodity, which if you divide it, will multiply.” Try this formula, and it will tell us, “A happy family is successful.”

- Family life to be successful does not depend on one formula though. It thrives on new frontiers. There are always new things to discover. It is the discovery itself that is important, that makes it original and unique. And it must be always mutual. Joy to one is joy to the other.

- Success cannot be kept in a treasure box and locked. They say, “You cannot rest on your laurels.” Trophies are symbols; they are not an end. In Greek mythology Jason, after his adventure with Hercules in search of the Golden Fleece, spent the rest of his life beside his ship, the Argon, which fell into pieces with age killing the great warrior.

- Success in married life is neither abstract, nor merely spiritual. It is real. It is to be shared. It must be contagious. Let it be expressed with the children. It must be felt and celebrated in one way or the other minus the pomposity of the Romans. It must be exemplified. It must strive to be a model.  It should be able to pass as a paradigm of not only what life really is – but what it should be. “Life,” according to Reader’s Digest, “is the most difficult art, yet it is the finest.”

- Asked what the great British Prime Minister and hero, Winston Churchill wanted if he were born again. He said with twinkle in his eyes looking at Mrs. Churchill. “I’d like to be Mrs. Churchill’s next husband.” Success in married life has an imprimatur. It leaves a mark. That mark even glows on the dead man’s face, and on the shine of his epitaph, and flowers that grace it.

- Trials are not enough to weather success. Yes, to a courageous person, who when asked, “Were you not afraid?” He simply said, “I was afraid, but I did the brave thing.” He picked up the pieces together and his family is once more solid and whole.

Family picnic on a beach

When I was invited to talk on this topic before faculty members and students, I said to myself. “Gush, I should know I am successful in my married life.” For whatever I have done so far – through thick and thin - I know my family has always been with me – on the stage, on camping trips, painting exhibits, on visitation of the tombs of our departed, in the church, on my sickbed, lectures, at the mall, workshop, at the farm, on rosary hour. Seldom do I encounter the four “Ws” and one “H” – the very things that make our life complex and uncertain – without my family helping me answer these questions. Life is truly worth living for.

As we switch on the vigil light and retire in the night, we are one happy family looking forward for the next day. For indeed, success must be lived with day after day, season after season, year after year.
At the end, we come to submit our credentials to the One who made us all, who gave us that star that guides our life, who welcomes us at His throne when we shall then have reached it. ~

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